Monday, June 30, 2003

WOW...THAT LOOKS PRETTY GOOD..................YOU SEE, I GET BORED REAL EASY WITH THE SAME OLD SHIT ALL THE TIME...PROBABLY ANSWERS WHY, THUS FAR, I HAVE BEEN MARRIED TWICE, LIVED WITH 5 DIFFERENT WOMEN, NOT INCLUDING MY SECOND WIFE, WHO I LIVED WITH LONGER THAN WE WERE MARRIED (AND AFTER WE DIVORCED!)..SO WHAT LOOKS 'PRETTY GOOD'?? I CHANGED MY INTERNET BACKGROUND COLOR TO A BABY BLUE AND MY 'UNREAD' STUFF TO A MELLO VIOLET COLOR....READ STUFF IN RED (WHAT ELSE??).

SORRY I CRAPPED OUT YESTERDAY BUT WHO AM I CRAPPING OUT ON...............I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHO READS THESE INFAMOUS BRAIN FARTS OF MINE......JUST SENT YET ANOTHER
'BLOGGER' AN EMAIL, HUSTLING SOME SORT OF RESPONSE.

HUSTLING, YEAH THAT'S IT.....I NEED A BLOG HUSTLER. A BRAIN FART PIMP, IF YOU WILL. WON'T YOU BE MY BRAIN FART?????????????????????????????????????

YESTERDAY, I FARTED A LITTLE BIT ABOUT GEORGE AND THE NAZIS. UP FRONT, VISIT:www.tubiosystem.com/articles/bush_nazis.html

SEEMS THAT GRANDPA BUSH (PRESCOTT) AND GREAT GRAND PA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER WERE MAJOR U.S. SUPPORTERS/FUND RAISERS OF THE NAZI PARTY IN THE
30'S/40'S. THEY WERE INVOLVED WITH A US BANK THAT ONE COULD GUESS FUNNELED/LAUNDERED NAZI MONEY TO THE MOTHER (FUCK) LAND. THEY HELPED SELL 50 MILLION (LOTS OF $$ THEN!!) IN NAZI BONDS.
AND I GUESS, GEORGE'S DADDY WORKED AT THE BANK.
MY, SUCH FAMLY TIES....................AND WHO SAID: """"HOW FORTUNATE FOR GOVERNMENT THAT THE PEOPLE THEY ADMINISTER DON'T THINK""""......NICE QUOTE...GEORGE???? NO, TOO MANY 'BIG' WORDS FOR GEORGE...ACTUALLY, IT WAS ADOLPH HITLER......BUT THEN (ONCE AGAIN) 90% OF THE POPULUS DOES RUN AROUND WITH THEIR HEADS UPS THEIR ASSES........NO GEORGE DIDN'T SAY THAT EITHER......OLDCATMAN, DOES!!!!


WSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSD3332........HEY! I WENT TO TAKE A PISS AND CHECK ON THE BABY CHICK (WHO IS JUST FINE!!) AND I FIND THIS CODE LIKE MESSAGE ENSCRIBED ON MY 'BUMF' (SEE ARCHIVES, DIP!!)...THEN I SEE THAT "JC" KITTY
HAS PERCHED HERSELF ON MY CHAIR.............HUMMMMMMMM.
ONE COULD GUESS THAT SHE RAN ACROSS MY KEYBOARD TO GET TO MY CHAIR...I'LL ASK HER LATER WHAT SHE HAS SAID.........................


KIND OF SCARY.....................AFTER SPENDING MY ENTIRE LIFE WORKING IN AND AROUND HEALTH CARE: A COUPLE OF PUBLIC HOSPITALS IN DENVER ARE DOING WHAT AMOUNTS TO 'FRONT DOOR TRIAGE'...A NURSE IS POSITIONED OUTSIDE THE 'ER' DOOR TO DO A QUICK SCREEN OF PROSPECTIVE PATIENTS....IF THEY HAVE A SNOTTY NOSE THEY ARE SENT HOME.........APPARENTLY ONE 'PATIENT' HAD AN INJURED
CLAVICAL AND WAS SENT AWAY BECAUSE HE WAS NOT A DENVERITE....AN ACTION APPROVED BY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT. ALL OF THIS IS HAPPENING BECAUSE PUBLIC HOSPITALS DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH FUNDS TO OPERATE FULLY AND EFFICIENTLY......GOD DAMN. NO. NO. NO. IT SHOULD NOT BE THIS WAY! WE NEED $$$$ FOR HEALTH CARE TO TAKE CARE OF THE POOR/INDIGENT PEOPLE (MYSELF INCLUDED) OF THIS COUNTRY. $$$$ TO FEED THE POOR. $$$$ TO EDUCATE OUR CHILDREN. $$$$ TO SEND TO PAKISTAN FOR KISSING ASS WITH GEORGE DURING THE IRAQI
WAR..................BULL SHIT..........."""""""IT'S THE ECONOMY, ASSHOLE!!""""""


MY CHICK........................HOW AND WHEN CAN YOU TELL IF IT IS A HEN OR A ROOSTER..............GOT TO BE A 'COCK' (A DOODLE DO) LINE HERE SOMEWHERE!! HE/SHE IS REALLY STRUTTING HIS/HER STUFF AROUND THE BOX............LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL............................
.........BOUGHT I LITTLE WIND UP YELLOW STUFFED CHICK
TOY AT A YARD SALE (WE'LL HAVE TO EXPLORE YARD SALES SOMEDAY)................'TIS A BIT HEAVY TO PUT IN WITH THE REAL BABY CHICK..............SO IT WILL JOIN MY COLLECTION OF STUFFED TOYS..................WHAT?? AN OLDCATMAN WITH STUFFED TOYS???? I HAVE MANY: LIONS, TIGERS, CATS, WOLVES, MONKEYS, WHALES, BATS, KOALAS, ETC.........
........YOU KNOW, AN ADULT WITH NO STUFFED TOYS ONLY MEANS ONE VERY TRAGIC THING.....THE 'CHILD' WITHIN THEM HAS DIED. DO YOU HAVE A STUFFED TOY OR TWO????

AFRICA HAS JOINED THE REALITY TV MARKET. SEEMS THEY HAVE A SHOW CALLED ''BIG BROTHER AFRICA'' WHERE 'CONTESTANTS' RUN AROUND IN BIKINIS AND GET DRUNK.
APPARENTLY, IT WENT A BIT FAR AS THEY BROADCAST A COUPLE IN THE SHOWER SCREWING (ON A SHOW LIKE THIS IT WOULD HAVE TO BE "SCREWING" AND NOT "MAKING LOVE").
DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THE EVOLUTION OF CENSORSHIP......I CAN JUST SEE SUCH AN EVENT ON A FUTURE US OF A REALITY TV SHOW.......YOU KNOW, THE TV SHOWS THAT I DO NOT HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY TO WATCH............... BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A TV UP MY ASS!!........
..................

MONDOTIMES POLL OF THE DAY (ASKED IN OCTOBER 2002):
IS PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH ARIEL SHARON'S POODLE?
458 SAID YES. 418 SAID NO. 54 NOT SURE. (928 TOTAL)......IF THE POLL WERE TAKEN TODAY, GEORGE MIGHT END UP BEING ARIEL'S 'LAPDOG'.........................

A TROPICAL STORM IS BREWING OF THE FLORIDA COAST. THE STORM HAS BEEN NAMED 'BILL'...............I WONDER IF HILLARY IS FAR BEHIND???? SORRY, BILL, COULD NOT RESIST........YOU'RE STILL THE MAN!!!!......YEAH, I LIKE BILL CLINTON...HE'S THE MAN.....................JUST ASKED MONICA...OR THAT BLOND ON THE BROOM STICK..................AW, TO SCREW IS A NATURAL ACT...............TO WAR ON IRAQ IS AN UNNATURAL ACT.



"JC" KITTY. WHAT WAS IT YOU TYPED A WHILE AGO?

.........."MEOW: IT'S THE ECONOMY, ASSHOLE!".....

"GOOD NIGHT, SUE-SUE, THE DOG!"

"ARF"


Sunday, June 29, 2003

............."not tonight, dear, I have a headache"......................

WELL, I DON'T HAVE A HEADACHE BUT I AM TIRED.....I DO HAVE A LOT OF FARTS I WANT TO GET OUT BUT THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT.

SHOULD YOU BE ONE (AND THE ONLY) OF MY FANS, READ THE ARCHIVES.

BABY CHICK IS STILL DOING FINE.............RUNNING AROUND LIKE CRAZY.

FOUND OUT THAT GEORGE'S FAMILY HAD/HAS SERIOUS TIES WITH THE NAZI'S...................AND YOU GET MY "SLANT" ON THIS NAZI ISSUE TOMORROW.

MUST LIST AN OBIT: KATHRYN HEPBURN DIED AT THE AGE OF 96. EVER NOTICE THAT WHEN SOMEONE IS REAL GOOD AT, SAY ACTING, THAT YOU CAN 'VISUALIZE' THEIR VOICE IN YOUR MIND???? CAN'T YOU JUST HEAR HER VOICE????

............................I THINK I'LL BARF................I CAN HEAR GEORGE'S VOICE...OR IS THAT ADOLPH????

'WHAT IS IT "JC" KITTY?'

MEOW

Saturday, June 28, 2003

'KNOCK. KNOCK.'
'WHO'S THERE?'
'OLDCATMAN.'
'OLDCATMAN WHO?'
'OLDCATMAN THAT IS GOING TO BRAIN FART ALL OVER YOU,
THAT'S WHO!'
'OH.'
...................................LET THE FARTS BEGIN!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I PAUSED FOR THE CAUSE....NO I DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE A 'DUMP'.................I HAD A STUPID THOUGHT REGARDING THE HARRY POTTER BULLSHIT......LIKE, HOW MANY HARRY (HAROLD) POTTERS ARE THERE IN THE US OF A. I SAW ONE ON THE TODAY SHOW AND ONE ON THE DENVER NEWS.
WELL, I GOT BORED IN A HURRY. I CHECKED GOOGLE'S PHONE DIRECTORY (WHICH GENERALLY SUCKS!!) AND
CALIFORNIA, ALABAMA, NEVADA (DID YOU KNOW I USE TO LIVE IN RENO???? WE'LL HAVE TO FART ABOUT THAT IN THE FUTURE), PENNSYLVANIA AND COLORADO (BUT I SAW ONE ON THE DENVER NEWS? TOLD YOU THAT GOOGLE'S PHONE DIRECTORY SUCKS!) HAVE NO HARRY POTTERS........BUT
TEXAS, WYOMING AND ALASKA HAVE 1 EACH.....AND GREAT BALLS A FIRE! ....NEW YORK AND ARKANSAS HAVE 2 EACH.
NOW WASN'T THAT EXCITING NEWS....WASN'T EVEN WORTH EXPENDING A FART OVER.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

WELL, I ALWAYS THOUGHT WE WAS AN ASSHOLE AND NOW HE HAS PROVEN IT,,,,,,,,,,,,THAT 'WANT-A-BE' CLOWN, DENNIS MILLER, IS NOW A 'MOUTH OFF' FOR GEORGE. DENNY FLEW WITH GEORGE ON AIR FORCE ONE AND GEORGE WAS HEARD TO SAY: "HE KEEPS YOU ON YOUR TOES" (George, did you take ballet as well as cheerleading in your youth??).....AND GEORGE FURTHER SAID: "LIKE ME, HE (DENDEN) MARRIED ABOVE HIMSELF," (George, does that mean you like 'woman' on top?) THEY (??) SAY THAT D-D
IS A NEW VOICE; A CONSERVATIVE COMIC ATTACKING THE 'DEMOS'........GOT TO A COMIC, AS WHAT REPUBLICAN CAN TAKE ON A DEMOCRAT......UNLESS YOU ARE IN FLORIDA, WHERE JEB FIXES EVERYTHING.
ANYWAY, DENNIS, ASSHOLE-ISM CONFIRMED!!!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

NEWSPAPER OF THE DAY: THE WINIPEG SUN (MANITOBA, CANADA..................I LIKE TO SAY ""MANITOBA""..........SOUNDS LIKE TONTO TALKING........), ANYWAY: THERE WAS ANTI MAD COW
BEEF SALE AT $1.00 A POUND. SALE WAS SET TO START AT 10:30 AM, BUT BY 9:30 AM, 1000 PEOPLE WERE LINED UP AND THEY SOLD 40,000 POUNDS BY 10:30 AM!!!! .....AND A LOT PEOPLE LEFT THE SALE "MAD"..................MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

POLL OF THE DAY (FROM MY FRIENDS AT MONDOTIMES): AT THIS STAGE, IS IT POSSIBLE TO UNDERSTAND THE COST AND CONSEQUENCES OF THE IRAG WAR???? 164 YES. 295 NO. 30 NOT SURE.
(TOTAL: 489) *************THIS POLL WAS TAKEN 032303 THRU 040303******************** SURE LIKE TO SEE THIS SAME QUESTION ASKED NOW...AFTER THE WAR HAS BEEN "DECLARED" OVER AND..............AW, FUCK IT!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


IRAQANACAPHOBIA....LOOKS LIKE THE 'LIBERATORS' AND GETTING LOTS OF SHIT FROM THE 'LIBERATEES'!! SUCH INCIDENTS AS: THURSDAY NITES ARE TRADITIONAL WEDDING NITES AND GUN FIRE IS PART OF THE CEREMONY CELEBRATION....RIGHT...YOU GUESSED IT!! THE GUN FIRE ATTRACTED SOME 'LIBERATORS' WHO CRASHED THE 'LIBERATEES' WEDDING PARTY...ALLS WELL THAT ENDS WELL....BUT, WHEN, GEORGE????

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

SPEAKING OF "liber_ _................TROUBLE CONTINUES TO BREW IN LIBERIA......THE COUNTRY IN AFRICA THAT PRESIDENT MONROE HELP SET UP FOR THE SLAVES IN AMERICA (USA SEGREGATION AT ITS BEST) COULD MOVE BACK TO. CIVIL WAR (IRONIC??) HAS BEEN GOING FOR 14 OR SO YEARS. THE CURRENT PRESIDENT IS A DUDE NAMED CHARLES TAYLOR, A FORMER WARLORD (FROM SOUTH CENTRAL LA??). GEORGE (HE'S EVERYWHERE!!) IS TELLING CHUCK TO GET OUT........... APPARENTLY THE COUNTRY IS OVERRUN WITH YOUNGSTERS WHO ARE ARMED, DRUGGED UP (THOSE WERE THE DAYS, MY FRIENDS!!), WITH NO QUALMS ABOUT MURDER, RAPE OF PILLAGE. THERE ARE PROTESTS IN FRONT OF THE US MISSION (IN MONROVIA, I GUESS)..AND A PROTEST LEADER, ONE MARTIN LUTHER WESSEH, WAS HEARD TO SAY: "GEORGE BUSH IS THE PRESIDENT OF WHOLE WORLD AND EVERYONE KNOWS THAT."
WELL, MARTIN LUTHER, A VERY INTERESTING OBSERVATION...............NEED I SAY MORE........AW, FUCK IT.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

GOOD VIBES, I HOPE. IN BAGHDAD, THE IRAQI NATIONAL SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA HELD ITS FIRST CONCERT SINCE SADDAM SPLIT. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME THEY WERE ABLE TO PLAY A TUNE CALLED "MY NATION" WITHOUT FEAR OF SADDAM (NOT ON HIS TOP TEN LIST!).........VERY GOOD.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

A COUPLE OF EX PRIESTS IN LOS ANGELES, WERE LET FREE FROM JAIL. THEY WERE IN THE CAN (WITH FATHER BUBBA, I HOPE) FOR THE USUAL CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE BULL SHIT..WHEN, THE US SUPREME COURT (IN ALL THEIR supreme WISDOM) RULED THAT THE CALIFORNIA LAW THAT DEFROCKED THE 'GUYS'
SURPASSED THE STATUE OF LIMITATIONS FOR SUCH A LAW....PROBABLY 9 MORE OF THE PRICKS WILL BE LET LOOSE BECAUSE OF THIS RULING. HOWEVER, ANY SUCH ARRESTS THAT OCCURRED AFTER 1993, THE STATUE OF LIMITATIONS WILL NOT EXPIRE FOR UP TO 20 YEARS...................HANG ON TO YOUR BEADS, FATHER BUBBA, YOU'LL STILL GET SOME CELL MATES!!!!! ...SCREW YOU AND YOUR WAFERS!!!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

48 HOURS AND MY BABY CHICK IS STILL DOING GOOD!!!! I HAVE COVERED THE FLOOR OF THE BOX WITH PATCHES OF 'LEATHER' SUEDE, SOFTER AND EASIER FOR THE LITTLE CHICK TO WALK ON.
STILL HAVE TO NAME IT.....OR MY GRANDDAUGHTER
DOES....WE'LL USE A UNISEX NAME.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

DAMN, I AM HUNGRY.............HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING (EXCEPT AN OVERRIPE BANANA) SINCE THIS AFTERNOON WHEN I NIBBLED ON FRESH CHERRIES AND A PEANUT BUTTER KICKER (BY SPOON)....TRY IT, YOU'LL LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WELL, "JC" OLD GIRL IT TIME TO.......................

M E O W




'KNOCK. KNOCK.'
'WHO'S THERE?'
'OLDCATMAN.'
'OLDCATMAN WHO?'
'OLDCATMAN THAT IS GOING TO BRAIN FART ALL OVER YOU,
THAT'S WHO!'
'OH.'
...................................LET THE FART BEGIN!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


'KNOCK. KNOCK.'
'WHO'S THERE?'
'OLDCATMAN.'
'OLDCATMAN WHO?'
'OLDCATMAN THAT IS GOING TO BRAIN FART ALL OVER YOU,
THAT'S WHO!'
'OH.'
...................................LET THE FART BEGIN!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


Friday, June 27, 2003

GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMENT!!!! ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE???? TUMBLE???? CRUMBLE??................
...............................HOW ABOUT, ARE YOU READY TO B R A I N
F A R T???? I CERTAINLY GET BORED WITH ONE FONT IN
'blogspot'........THAT'S WHY I TRY AND DO SILLY LITTLE THINGS WHEN I TYPE. YOU KNOW, 'QUOTATION' MARKS, ' "
""".....BLAH, BLAH. BLAH......little letters/BIG LETTERS/................S E P A R A T E D L E T T E R S/ MESSPELLED LITTERS/ AND ALL KINDS OF SHIT TO BE DIFFERENT???? #####********,ETC. TO SEGREGATE BETWEEN
FARTS.....................................LET'S FART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<><><><><><><><> (CLEVER????)

HAPPY TO REPORT THAT MY BABY CHICK IS STILL A LIVE AND DOING WELL................HE/SHE NOW HAS SPECIAL CHICK CORN
FOOD (HIGH PROTEIN, AND A GIFT FROM THE FEED STORE).......IT'S 90 PLUS DEGREES IN THE BOX....SEEMS TO BE CLOSER TO WALKING WITHOUT SO MUCH EFFORT.....LAST BOX CHECK, HE/SHE WAS SNUGGLED IN THE
FOOD LID (AW, THOSE WERE THE DAYS MY, FRIENDS!!)....I KEEP SAYING "HI." TO HE/SHE, WHICH SEEMS TO MAKE HE/SHE 'CHIRP'......DOES THIS CHICK THINK THAT I AM IT'S MOM???? ROOSTER MAYBE....BUT NOT 'THE' HEN......
""cock-a-doodle-do""....is that an obscene phrase?? I don't know, ask Monica.........................

<><><><><><><><>

I SUBSCRIBE TO AN E-MAIL SERVICE CALL 'WORDSSMITH '.
EACH WEEKDAY THEY SEND YOU A UNIQUE WORD, WITH ITS DEFINITION AND GENERAL USAGE. THIS 'AM' THE WORD WAS
B U M F.....YES, b u m f..IT MEANS, PRINTED MATTER OF LITTLE IMPORTANCE; TOILET PAPER...............MAYBE THAT'S WHAT BLOGS/BRAIN FARTS ARE? BETTER YET, GEORGE'S SPEECHES.

<><><><><><>

LAST WEEK, I WAS A BIT PREMATURE IN FINDING MS.
MALLARD GUILTY IN THE "HIT AND RUN AWAY WITH THE BODY STUCK IN THE CAR" ACCIDENT, BUT KEEP THE FAITH,
BABY THE NIGGER BITCH (REMEMBER: I USE RACIAL AND/OR ETHNIC 'SLURES' WHEN AN INDIVIDUAL PERSON DESERVES IT.....GET YOUR BALLS/TITS IN AN UPROAR, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!! I CALL A SPADE A SPADE (NOT A SLURE).) ANYWAY,
SHE WAS FOUND GUILTY OF MURDER AND SENTENCED TO 50 YEARS IN THE CAN, PLUS 10 FOR TAMPERING WITH EVIDENCE. LATER, MALLARD.....QUACK. QUACK (WITH APOLOGIES TO AFLACK, MY DUCK).

<><><><><><><><>

OBITS: STROM THURMOND, 100.

<><><><><><><><><>

WHAT THE FUCK???? ALL OF THIS BULL SHIT STUFF TO KEEP
TELEMARKETERS FROM CALLING YOU AT HOME....EXCEPT FOR POLITICIANS, CHARITIES ("BEGATHONS" MAYBE THE WORST OF THE LOT!!) AND BUSINESSES THAT ARE 'ESTABLISHED' WITH YOU...WHAT WILL YOUR WIFE SAY WHEN YOU GET A CALL FROM THE BUNNY RANCH?? MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING, AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED....HANG UP ON THE ASSHOLES...KEEP YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE ON, AS IT FUCKS WITH THEIR DIALING COMPUTERS....TALK ABOUT BIG BROTHER?? ....AND 1984 WAS 9 YEARS AGO, GEORGE.

<><><><><><><><>

...............NOT ANOTHER CHICKEN STORY?? AMELIA 'AIRHEART'.....THE INNOCENT BROWN CHICKEN, WHO SOME ASSHOLES IN SAN FRANCISCO (WHERE ELSE??) TIED HELIUM BALLOONS TO TO SEE HOW HIGH SHE WOULD GO..I GUESS THEY WERE MIMICKING A TV SHOW. POOR BIRD GOT STUCK IN SOME POWER WIRES. AFTER SHUTTING DOWN THE POWER, THEY RESCUED THE 'DEAR'. SHE IS APPARENTLY
FINE AND NOW UP FOR ADOPTION (WITH LOTS OF PROSPECTIVE CHICKEN LOVERS)......THESE JERKS NEED AT LEAST 1 BAG OF MESS DESTRUCTION.....FILL THE PAPER BAG WITH CHICKEN SHIT (I CAN CONTRIBUTE), LIGHT THE BAG AND THROW IT IN THEIR CAR, WITH THEM IN IT, OF COURSE.
BONZAI THEIR ASS!!!!

<><><><><><><><>

FISH CRISIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU MUST NOT FOOL WITH MOTHER NATURE!! SEEMS THAT IN SOME OF THE TRIBUTARIES OF THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER THEY INTRODUCED
ASIAN CARP TO EAT AWAY THE OVER GROWTH OF ALGAE.
NOW THE CARP HAVE OVER POPULATED THE AREAS. FOUND THE 'OLD MAN RIVER' AND ARE HEADING FOR LAKE MICHIGAN.
EVERY WHERE THE CARP HAVE TRAVELED, THEY HAVE DESTROYED THE NATURAL FISH HABITAT.....LAKE MICHIGAN IS IN DANGER..............FILM WAS SHOWN: THERE ARE SO DAMN MANY OF THESE CARP THAT THEY JUMP, JUMP, JUMP..IN AND OUT OF THE WATER..WAS AN AMAZING SITE.
.....JUST ANOTHER FISH STORY.....................OR, IT DOES NOT PAY TO FUCK WITH MOTHER NATURE!!!!

><><><><><><><><>

TODAY'S NEWSPAPER: FIDES NEWS SERVICE, FROM VATICAN CITY (THE POPE'S 'CRIB')..THE ONLY THING OF INTEREST: THERE WERE 10 MAJOR ARTICLES.....NONE ON THE MOLESTERS......EDITORIAL CONTROL...................................
YEAH, I KNOW......here come the wafers...........(visualize the middle finger of my right hand.............)

<><><><><><><><><>

MONDO TIMES POLL: IS SAUDI ARABIA A STATE SPONSOR OF TERRORISM???? 405 YES. 104 NO. 58 NOT SURE. TOTAL
RESPONDING: 567

><><><><><><><><>

THE SUPER PILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOME DOCS ARE SUGGESTING THAT 'WE' NEED A PILL TO PREVENT HEART ATTACKS. ALL PEOPLE OVER 55 (I'LLTAKE A YEAR'S WORTH, PLEASE) WOULD TAKE THE PILL WHICH WOULD CONTAIN 6 DIFFERENT MEDICATIONS: 1 FOR CHOLESTEROL; 3 FOR BLOOD PRESSURE; FOLIC ACID AND ASPRIN. PROPOSED NAME
"POLYPILL"..... POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS: fatigue, vivid dreams,
or cough.............hummmmmmmmmmmm.....same as POT.
AS IT TURNS OUT, I ALREADY TAKE 4 OF THE 6 EVERYDAY.
LONG LIVE THE oldcatman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



<><><><><><><><><><><><>

'TIS TIME TO SAY GOODNITE................UNTIL WE BRAIN FART (BUMF!!) AGAIN.......................oldcatman@worldnet.att.net


GOOD NIGHT, "JC" KITTY.

"CHIRP"

VERY FUNNY, "JC"...DON'T EVEN THINK OF GOING INTO THE CHICK'S ROOM!!

meow.

<><><><><><><><> WHAT THE FUCK???? MY BRAIN FARTS WILL NOT PUBLISH?????????????? HEY, BLOGSPOT!

Thursday, June 26, 2003

YUP, IT'S ME......................

HAD AN AMAZING THING HAPPENED TO ME THIS AFTERNOON; AN EVENT THAT I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET......................

THE FARM: WENT OUT TO FEED THE CHICKENS AND THE DUCK
(AFLACK, THAT IS) GOT THE FOOD SPREAD AROUND....I REALLY PISS THE CHICKENS OFF BECAUSE I GIVE AFLACK CANNED CORN WHICH SHE LOVES.........SHE USE TO HAVE TO FIGHT THE CHICKENS FOR THE CORN BUT THEN I DISCOVERED THAT IF I THROW THE CORN IN ONE OF THE WATER CONTAINERS, THE CHICKENS WILL NOT GO "SKINNY DIPPIN" FOR THE CORN...BUT AFLACK DOES. NOW SHE LEISURELY WADDLES UP TO THE CONTAINER AND SLURPS ALL THE CORN UP FROM THE BOTTOM..AS IF SAID, IT REALLY PISSES THE CHICKENS OFF.....THAT IS, IF CHICKENS GET PISSED OFF? .................BUT A STRAY FROM THE REAL STORY...................AFTER THE CHICKENS
GET THEIR DOLE OF FOOD (WHICH INCLUDES SCRAPS AND, WOULD YOU BELIEVE, A POUND OF COOKED PLAIN PASTA EVERY DAY?)......, I STILL HAVE TO GATHER THE EGGS AND FEED "POWDER" AND "BB" WHO LIVE IN THE REHAB PEN. I GO INTO THE "HEN" HOUSE (WITH APOLOGIES TO THE 3 ROOSTERS ((BIG DADDY, LITTLE DUDE AND WHITEY)) AND I HEAR A "PEEP. PEEP. PEEP. PEEP."..............WE HAVE HAD 3 HENS SITTING ON EGGS. OH MY god!!!! A BABY CHICK HAS HATCHED......THE 'EVENT' THAT I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED BEFORE. I RUSHED THE CHICK INTO MY HOUSE AND GOT IT INTO THE "PLANNED" (JUST IN CASE WE HAD A VIABLE CHICK).....FILLED SOME LIDS (AW, THOSE WERE THE DAYS, MY FRIEND!) WITH WATER AND GROUND CORN..SET UP THE HEAT LAMP (THAT I USE IN THE WINTER TIME TO HEAT MY
COMPOSTING TOILET)....PUT DOWN SOME STRAW.....PUT IN SOME CHICKEN FEATHERS (DON'T ASK ME WHY...) AND A COUPLE OF PEP'PURR'S FUZZY MICE TOYS (STILL DON'T ASK ME WHY)....CALLED MY SISTER WITH THE NEWS...SHE CAME OVER TO SEE THIS MINOR MIRACLE OF LIFE.............ALL'S WELL WITH THE
CHICK AT THE MOMENT...."JC" KITTY AND PEP'PURR WERE A BIT CURIOUS WITH ALL THAT "PEEPING".....E-MAILED MY GRAND DAUGHTER WITH THE NEWS...................IF god BE WILLING AND THE CHICK SURVIVES, I'LL LET HER NAME THE CHICK............SHE APTLY NAMED PEP'PURR (BUT I SPELLED IT). THE MIRACLE OF LIFE...WHAT A TRIP..........................!!

########

AFTER THAT HEART WARMING (CORNY? BITE ME!) BRAIN FART I FIND IT HARD TO GET INTO THE UGLY WORLD STUFF..............
BUT................ WHILE WATCHING THE 'TODAY' THE OTHER 'DAY', THEY HAD A AUTHOR THAT HAD WRITTEN A BOOK ON 'SEX AND MARRIAGE' (WOW, WHAT A CONCEPT!)..THE AUTHOR CLAIMED THAT TOOOOOOOOOOOOO MANY MARRIED COUPLES HAVE QUIT HAVING SEX, AKA "SEX STARVED MARRIAGE"..............LOTS OF REASONS WHY...........AND HER 'CURES' FOR THE DILEMMAS WERE
"CORNY" ( AND THIS TIME YOU DON'T HAVE TO 'BITE ME')....THE SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM IS SIMPLY TWO THINGS: ORAL SEX AND POT OR POT AND ORAL SEX..WHICH EVER WAY YOU PREFER.....I GUARANTEE, A 69% IMPROVEMENT FOR THOSE
SEXLESS MARRIAGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PUT THAT IN YOUR BONG AND SMOKE IT, MASTERS AND JOHNSON!!

#########

SPEAKING OF ""S E X"" (NOT IN MY CITY!!), THE SUPREME COURT HAS RULED 5-3 THAT THE SODOMY LAWS OF 13 STATES VIOLATE THE CONSTITUTIONAL PRIVACY ACTS..............AND ARI FLEISCHER, ONE OF GEORGE'S PRIME SPOKESPERSONS, WAS HEARD TO SAY (AFTER THE WHITE HOUSE FAILED TO ISSUE A BRIEF ON THE DECISION) ""...AND THIS IS NOW A STATE MATTER...""; IN OTHER WORDS, IT MAY NOT BECOME AN ELECTION YEAR ISSUE.
SO GUYS, GO FOR IT!!

########

THEY'RE BACK.......................THOSE FUCKING IRAQI TRAILERS, ARE BACK.............GEORGE IS CONVINCED THAT WE HAVE THEIR ASS NOW
BUT THE CIA IS NOT REAL SURE...NOT ENOUGH HARD EVIDENCE. AND I THOUGHT THAT ABDULLA'S TRAILER MART, THE #1 DEALER IN SYRIA, HAD BOUGHT ALL OF THE IRAQI TRAILERS, WENT BANKRUPT
AND GEORGE BOUGHT THEM FOR BECHTEL'S ON SIGHT OFFICES AND WHORE HOUSES.......................DID HE GET ONE FOR THE RANCH TOO?? GEORGE, TAKE YOUR FAIRY TALE OF 'WEAPONS OF MASS
DESTRUCTION" AND: _ _ _ V _ - I_ - U_ - _ O_ _ - A_ _!!!! VANNA, IS THERE AN 'S'????

##########

AND FROM ISLAMABAD (I DON'T KNOW, IS IT???), PAKISTAN (THE PAKISTAN OBSERVER.....MY HIGH SCHOOL NEWSPAPER WAS THE "OBSERVER") AN ARTICLE: I GUESS INDIA JUST HAD A MAJOR FAILURE OF 4 SHORT-RANGE-SURFACE TO AIR
MISSILES TESTINGS...THE TESTS FAILED TO MEET SPECS........OH WELL, PAKISTAN MUST FEEL A BIT SAFER NOW...HEY, PAKI, HOW ARE YOUR NUKES??

#########

MONDO TIMES POLL: DID IRAQ UNDER SADDAM HUSSEIN PROVIDE SANCTUARY TO TERRORISTS? 738 REPLIES.
529 SAID YES. 143 SAID NO. 66 WERE NOT SURE.

###########

WELL, CHICK-FATHER HOOD HAS WORE ME OUT TONIGHT
AND THE FARTS ARE SLOWING DOWN.

DON'T FORGET TO WATCH PAM ON TNN TONIGHT FOR THE DEBUT OF STRIPPERELLA!!

DON'T FORGET TO EMAIL ME (HA! HA!) AT
oldcatman@worldnet,att.net

SURE HOPE I HAVE THE CREATIVE ENERGY (NOT BRAIN FARTS) TO MAKE A LITTLE MOVIE CLIP ON MY NEWLY FOUND
'MOVIE" MAKING MACHINE!!!!!!

GOOD NIGHT, BABY CHICK.

"BEEP"

OH YES, GOOD NIGHT, "JC" KITTY.

MEOW.

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

HOLY CRAP........AND I DON'T EVEN "DO DRUGS" (SMOKE POT)
ANYMORE.............BUT TODAY IS WEDNESDAY, YESTERDAY WAS TUESDAY............THE "BRAIN FART DAY" THAT I THOUGHT WAS SUNDAY.....................AND I DID ALL THE PULPIT FARTING.........
OH WELL, AT LEAST I HAVE MY PANTS ON RIGHT (ACTUALLY, THE ZIPPER IN THE REAR IS A NEAT WAY TO TAKE A DUMP!)

TOMORROW IS THURSDAY..............................................

RIGHT, "JC" KITTY?

MEOW.

AFTER YESTERDAY'S PULPIT BRAIN FARTS, I'D BETTER GET BACK TO FARTING ON THE WORLD AND GEORGE.......IT WAS FUN TO RUN OFF LIKE THAT....BUT WHO IN THE HELL IS 'LISTEN'.......
oldcatman@worldnet.att.net EMAIL ME....TELL ME TO GO FUCK MYSELF.........................WELL, AT LEAST MY SON READS THE FARTS NOW AND THEN............SURE HOPE MY GRAND DAUGHTER DOESN'T, AS I'M SURE SHE ALREADY THINKS HER GRANDPA IS
PRETTY WEIRD ANYWAY...............AW SHIT......I AM WEIRD, WEIRD MEANING DIFFERENT THAT THE REST OF THE WORLD. I PROBABLY FALL INTO A VERY SMALL SEGMENT OF THAT 10% (OF THE POPULUS) I'M ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT.....YOU KNOW, THE LEFT OVER PEOPLE AFTER YOU REMOVE THOSE WITH THEIR HEADS UP THEIR ASSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+++++++

THE IRAQ CRAP: SAW A STORY ABOUT SOME IRAQI CHILDREN
THAT WERE PLAYING WITH A BAG OF EXPLOSIVE POWDER AND IT BLEW UP.............APPARENTLY THEY HAD MINOR TO MODERATE BURNS..............THEY APPROACHED A US SOLDIER WHO TOOK THEM TO M.A.S.H. UNIT OF SORTS..............BUT 2 US MD'S REFUSED TO TREAT THEM "BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT HURT BY HOSTILE ACTION".............."HIPPOCRATES MY ASS!!" I GUESS THE DOCS FIGURED THEY HAD NO HEALTH INSURANCE AND THEIR INDIGENT CARE ALLOCATIONS HAD BEEN USED UP.

MORE IRAQ CRAP: NOW THE BRITSH HAVE (FINALLY) LOST SOME SOLDIERS AFTER GEORGE'S DECLARATION..............AND THE BRIT MILITARY IS REALLY PISSED..............NO SHIT!! HOW ABOUT
THE FAMILIES OF THE DEAD SOLDIERS.....'WEAPONS OF MASS FRUSTRATION' (AKA: "DADDY LOST THE OTHER WAR")!

EVEN MORE IRAQ CRAP: SOLDIERS ARE BLOWING THE SHIT OUT OF TOWNS, HOUSES, ETC. LOOKING FOR ????? god KNOWS WHAT............AND TO COMPENSATE, THEY ARE CLEARING THE RUBBLE AND BUILDING SOCCER FIELDS.............AND (I GIVE CREDIT) REBUILDING SCHOOLS.

EVEN EVEN MORE IRAQ CRAP: GEORGIE HAS AWARDED PERVEZ MUSHARAAF, THE PRESIDENT OF PAKISTAN, WITH A 3 BILLION (YEAH, THAT WAS A FUCKING "B" IN FRONT OF "ILLION") AID PACKAGE............................SORRY, PERVEZ, NO F-16 FIGHTER PLANES................A FEW HERDS OF CAMELS WOULD BE NICE!

NO MORE IRAQ CRAP: BRAIN FARTS ON IRAQ GIVE ME A BELLIE ACHE. WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY, BUSHY????

+++++++++

THE JEW/MUSLIM WAR CRAP: I DIDN'T KNOW THAT 20% (1.2 MILLION) OF ISRAEL'S POPULATION ARE ARABS AND THAT THEY (THE CAMEL FOLKS) HAVE GIVEN HAMAS BIG BUCKS (10 MIL)...THE TOP GUN OF THIS "ISRAELI INNER TENT CIRCLE", IS SHEIK SALAH (DIDN'T HE USE TO WRASTLE IN THE WWF?) WHO SAYS THAT THEIR STANDARD OF LIVING IS WELL BELOW THOSE OF ISRAELI JEWS.....SHEIK, YOU GUYS JUST DON'T HAVE ENOUGH US SPONSORS!!

MORE JEW/MUSLIM WAR CRAP: THIS ""POLITICAL ARGUMENT""
IS LIKE A CANCER TO THE WORLD...............THERE IS NO CURE.
70 (RECENT) YEARS AND COUNTING....................WE WOULD BE LUCKY IF THEY'D NUKE EACH OTHER....BUT THEN THERE WOULD BE THE 'CLOUD'..............................

+++++++++++

AS YOU (WHO EVER IN THE HELL 'YOU' IS) KNOW, I LIKE TO PERUSE FOREIGN NEWSPAPERS. YESTERDAY (PRE PULPIT MOMENTS) I READ THRU THE SAMOA OBSERVER......NO WAR SHIT...JUST LOCAL PEOPLE NEWS.........LOCAL POLITICAL STUFF........A VERY PEACEFUL READ............AND I SENT THEM AN EMAIL AND TOLD THEM SO!!!!

TODAY I READ THE 'ASAHI SHIMBUS' AND ENGLISH PAPER IN TOKYO. THE JAPANESE (MY MOST FAVORITE OF ALL ASIAN PEOPLE.....I HAD 2 JAPANESE BOSSES IN MY WORK LIFE AND THEY WERE THE BEST.....PATRONIZING BRAIN FART!!) GOVERNMENT IS REALLY REALLY PISSED AT NORTH KOREA (OF COURSE, I AM SURE THAT KOREA IN GENERAL HAS PERHAPS NOT GOTTEN OVER WWII EITHER)!! THEY HAVE INSTALLED TOUGHER INSPECTIONS ON ALL NORTH KOREAN SHIPS (ABOUT 1400 DOCK IN JAPAN PER YEAR), IMMIGRATION HAS TIGHTEN UP BECAUSE OF DRUGS, FAKE MONEY AND ILLEGAL ALIENS (SOMETHING IN COMMON WITH CALIFORNIA!!), NO COMMUNICATION BETWEEN
GOVERNMENT WORKERS, CHARTERED FLIGHTS TO AND FROM MAYBE BE BANNED.......AND MY FAVORITE ORIENTAL FOOD IS JAPANESE...............POLITICALLY CORRECT LESSION: ""ASIAN"" REFERS TO PEOPLE ONLY, WHILE ""ORIENTAL"" APPLIES TO INANIMATE 'THINGS'...............................

+++++++++++++++++

OBITS OF LATE: LESTER MADDOX, FORMER GOVERNOR OF A SOUTHERN RACIST STATE; LEON URIS, AUTHOR OF 'EXODUS';
SOLDIERS IN IRAQ; AND IRAQI CITIZENS.

+++++++++++++++++++

GEORGE, DO YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE (AS A START) 4 DIFFERENT ANTI BUSH IN 2004 BUMPER STICKERS ON THE BACK OF MY
TRUCK (YEP, MY TRUCK...I'M A GOOD oldcatman)...CAUGHT A COUPLE READING THEM THE OTHER DAY....THEY WE'RE NOT SMILING............FUCKING BUSH FANS, I GUESS.

++++++++++++++++++++

EVERYBODY WATCH 'STRIPPERELLA' TOMORROW NITE ON 'TNN' TELEVISION.............STARRING THE VOICE OF PAMELA ANDERSON.............IS SHE ON LENO TONIGHT?? HOW WAS THAT FOR A PLUG, PAM..............."PLUG"??? OH, YEAH.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BASEBALL???? I REMEMBER AS A BROOKLYN/LA DODGER FAN, I KNEW THE NAMES OF ALL THE PLAYERS ON THE ROSTER AND HALF ON THEIR AAA TEAM....TODAY, NOT SURE......THE WHOLE BASEBALL THING HAS TURNED INTO A 'WHO'S ON FIRST' BIT, WITH $$$$$$$$ BEING THE PRIME OBJECTIVE, INSTEAD OF "THE LOVE OF THE GAME"....
THEN OF COURSE, THERE'S THE STEROID USE....THE CORKED BATS..............AND THEN THERE IS THE HALL OF FAME RAPE OF PETE ROSE..............................".3 STRIKES AND YOU'RE OUT AT THE OLD BALL GAME!"

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

FOUND A NEW TOY ON THE INTERNET: I CAN NOW CREATE "CARTOONS" AND SAVE THEM FOR VIEWING BY ONE AND ALL...............BUT LIKE MY BRAIN FARTS "ALL" IS JUST ME FOR NOW.............I'LL POST THE WEB SITE IN THE FUTURE............MY CREATIVE ENERGY ABOUNDS.................FART-TOONS????
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HEY, "JC" KITTY..................WHAT TIME IS IT????

MEOW.

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

.............................here we are again.............

don't feel like generating caustic brain farts tonight.....after all it is SUNDAY
a day of peace and reverence, unless you're a 7th Day Adventists..I did some consulting working for their hospitals in California (in my working youth)
and I found them, as religious folks, to be very open minded nice folks...hell, I even had an affair with a minister's wife.... compared to other religions that I have encountered in my life........those "wafer throwers", those who roll around on the floor, those who sell the funny little magazines on street corners, those who set up circus tents in the middle of Kansas wheat fields, those who play with poisonous snakes, those who idolize that round bellied dude, those who do not believe in traditional medicine (god will sew my leg back on) and those who................well, I guess my point is WHAT IS THE RIGHT RELIGION???? DAMN, DON'T ASK THAT QUESTION TO A CHRISTIAN (OF ANY KIND)!!

LOOK AT WHAT RELIGION HAS DONE OVER THE EONS TO THE WORLD?
DAMN!!! HOW MANY PEOPLE (OVER THE EONS) HAVE DIED BECAUSE OF RELIGION???? WELL, AS CARL USE TO SAY "BILLIONS AND BILLIONS"!!..................................LOOK AT TODAY...NO, I DON'T WANT TO, I'M OFF BEING CAUSTIC TONIGHT (see you tomorrow, Ariel and Yasir)......................

NOW IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT SPIRITUALITY...THE KIND THAT DOES NOT HAVE A RELIGIOUS HANG (from a cross) UP....THEN LET'S TALK..............I AM SPIRITUAL IN MANY WAYS::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I HAVE AN ALTAR IN MY BEDROOM DEDICATED TO THOSE WHO HAVE DIED BEFORE ME............MOST IMPORTANT ARE THE ASHES OF MY FIRST AND THIRD CAT (JONES KITTY AND CLEO)...........MY SECOND CAT (HERBY-SHERBIE) WAS MURDERED SOON AFTER MOVING IN WITH ME, I ONLY HAVE SOME OF HIS FUR................THERE IS A CUP OF FEATHERS FROM A FAVORITE CHICKEN (BUTTER) WHO DIED AND IN VARIOUS CONTAINERS ARE THE REMAINS OF A BABY CHICK AND 2 FISH THAT DIED...TWO FEATHERS FROM AN OLD GREY HEN....................TOKENS OF OTHER CREATURES WHO HAVE DIED..............I HAVE A CONTAINER THAT HAS THE FUNERAL NOTICE, BLADES OF GRASS FROM THE URNS BURIAL SITE AND 2 RED ROSES (SELECTED EACH YEAR ON THE DAY SHE DIED......ALL FOR MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW WHO DIED OF CANCER MUCH TOO YOUNG...............................PHOTOS OF MY DEAD ANIMALS...............AND LITTLE THINGS THAT GIVE ME COMFORT.
NOW, THAT'S PART OF MY SPIRITUALITY..................SOUND STUPID?????? WELL, FUCK YOU! IS IT ANY MORE STUPID THAT ALL OF THE RITUALIST BULL SHIT THAT ALL (AND I DO MEAN ALL!!) ORGANIZED RELIGIONS HAVE???? WHOA, OLDCATMAN.....COOL DOWN ABOUT THIS RELIGION BUSINESS, AFTER ALL, IT'S SUNDAY, A DAY OF PEACE AND REVERENCE................................AMEN, BROTHER!

MORE OF MY SPIRIT WORLD:


MY CATS ("JC" KITTY AND PEP'PURR) ARE MY LIVING SPIRIT ANIMALS. THEY GIVE ME LOVE AND COMFORT.............AND PEACE OF MIND AND SPIRIT .............I AM CONVINCED THAT THE "SPIRIT" OF **JONES KITTY** LED PEP'PURR TO MY HOUSE LAST SEPTEMBER..................CATS KNOW ALL.............JUST LOOK DEEPLY INTO THEIR EYES...............................

NOW SUE-SUE, THE DOG.......SHE HAS A BIT OF WOLF IN HER...AND BEFORE "SHE CAME WITH THE FARM", I ALWAYS WANTED A WOLF DOG, AS WOLVES HAVE VERY SPECIAL SPIRITUAL QUALITIES--SUE-SUE
HAS THOSE QUALITIES...LOYAL TO THE 'FAMILY'.

IN ADDITION TO THE WOLF, EAGLES AND WHALES ARE MY OTHER SPIRIT ANIMALS.

THE WOLF 'RULES' THE LAND.
THE EAGLE 'RULES' THE AIR.
THE WHALE 'RULES' THE SEA.

.......THEIR COMMONALITY IS SPOOKY. THEY ARE ALL ENDANGERED
CREATURES. ENDANGERED BY man. MAN WILL SOON DESTROY HIMSELF, FINALLY LEAVING THE WOLF, THE EAGLE AND THE WHALE TO AGAIN RULE.................I HAVE ON MY COMPUTER SOUNDS OF THE WOLF HOWLING, THE EAGLE SCREAMING AND THE WHALE CRYING...I OFTEN LISTEN....................howling, screaming and crying..........some day they will all be laughing........................

CORNY SHIT????? WELL, YOU KNOW..................FUCK YOU.

MY LIFE INTERFERES WITH NO ONE...ALL THOUGH, IF THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO READ MY USUAL "BRAIN FARTS", I GUESS I COULD BE INTERFERING WITH THEIR 'IDEALS'......OH WELL, FUCK THEM TOO!!!

GOOD NIGHT, "JC" KITTY.....................
MEOW.

Monday, June 23, 2003

'KNOCK. KNOCK'
"WHO'S THERE?"
'GEORGE.'
"GEORGE WHO?"
'YOU KNOW WHO, OLDCATMAN.'
"BUSH?"
'IN THE FLESH!'
'YEP!'
"WELL, GODDAMN!"
'WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE, OLDCATMAN!"
"HOW CAN I HELP YOU, GW?"
'WELL, IT'S ABOUT YOUR BRAIN FARTS.'
"AND............."
'HOW DO THEY HAPPEN?'
"WELL, GW, I JUST SIT DOWN AT MY imac AND OUT THEY COME!"
'GEE, THE ONLY TIME I GET ANY FARTS IS WHEN I'M SITTING ON THE CRAPPER AND THEN THE ONLY THING THAT COMES OUT IS SHIT!!'
"WELL, GW, IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU PUT OUT SHIT NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE...CRAPPER NOT WITHSTANDING!"
'HEH. HEH. I KNOW.....BUT MOST FOLKS BELIEVE ME!!'
"YES, GW, ABOUT 90% OF THEM."
'HEH. HEH. HEH. HEH.'
"GW, THE LIMO JUST PULLED UP MY DRIVEWAY. TIME FOR YOU TO GO
DO WHAT IT IS THAT YOU DO."
'SEE YOU LATER, OLDCATMAN.'
"NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST. LET'S MEET AGAIN IN 2004. HEY, GW, LOOK AT MY FINGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

...............IT'S BRAIN FART TIME.....BUT THE PLACE SMELLS BEFORE I HAVE EVEN STARTED................PROBABLY BECAUSE OF THAT OLD FART THAT JUST LEFT........................................

1A

...AND OLD "JC" KITTY IS SPRAWLED OUT NEXT TO MY KEYBOARD AGAIN................I SHOULD BE GLAD IT IS NOT 'SUE-SUE, THE DOG', MY 50 POUND MIX OF HUSKIE,WOLF & CHOW...............WHEN MY SISTER "BOUGHT THE FARM" THE DOG CAME WITH THE PLACE...GREAT INVESTMENT...GREAT DOG...............................THEN, LAST SEPTEMBER SOME HEARTLESS ASSHOLE(S) DUMPED (FOR BETTER OR WORSE) A LITTLE GREY KITTY ON THE PROPERTY..........WELL, THE LITTLE GREY KITTY IS NOW A HUSKY BIG KITTY, AND A RUSSIAN BLUE TO BOOT, NAMED 'PEP'PURR' (YOU KNOW, GOES WITH SALT?)................NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT MY ANIMALS AND THAT I LIVE ON A (8 ACRE) FARM SOMEWHERE IN COLORADO...SHIT THAT'S MORE THAN MY CREDITORS KNOW ABOUT ME...WELL, LIKE IRS, THEY (MY CREDITORS) CAN KISS MY ASS...ENOUGH AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL SHIT....ON WITH THE SHOW!

1B

IRAQRAQRAQ: LAST WEEK A US CONVOY (AKA "TASK FORCE 20", at a movie theatre near you..starring Doug McClure, Mr. T, Cindy Williams and Tom Hanks, in a cameo role, as Saddam Hussein) BLEW UP SOME IRAQI'S
ON THE ROAD TO SYRIA (WILL NOT MENTION HOPE OR CROSBY)...APPARENTLY THERE WAS SOME REASONABLE INTELLIGENCE FROM THE CIA (of "weapons of mass destruction fame")
THAT SADDAM AND SONS (NOT RELATED TO THE USED CAMEL DEALERS WORKING THE SAHARA REGION) WERE IN THE GROUP....'CSI'
IS THERE DOING 'DNA' TESTS ON THE REMAINS.............BUT WHAT ARE THE CHANCES???????????? ..................AND, KING ABDULLAH (OF
JORDAN WAS HEARD TO SAY, "IT'S LIKE ELVIS. THERE ARE LOTS SIGHTINGS OF HIM ALL OVER THE PLACE".................but don't step on my blue suede shoes with the turned up toes.......just love me tender................ugh!!!!

1c

WELL, THE SUPREME (WITH EXTRA ANCHOVIES) COURT HAS RULED ON THIS MINORITY ADMISSIONS CRAP IN THOSE INSTITUTES OF HIGHER LEARNING..................CURIOUS, IF THE US GOVERNMENT WERE TO GIVE
FREE PIZZAS (WITH EXTRA ANCHOVIES) TO ALL ITALIANS, COULD I/ SHOULD I/ BE "ENTITLED" TO ONE????????????? I CLAIM TO BE
ITALIAN, MY FATHER WAS ITALIAN, HIS PARENTS WERE ITALIAN, MY GREAT GRANDPARENTS WERE BORN IN SICILY....hey, goomba! BUT MY MOTHER WAS OF GERMAN/FRENCH CANADIAN HERITAGE..............SO THEN EVEN THOUGH I CLAIM TO BE ITALIAN, HAVE A LOT OF ITALIAN BLOOD AND GARLIC IN MY VEINS, AM I (K E Y W O R D H E R E)
>>>>>>""ENTITLED"<<<<<< TO THE FREE PIZZA????????????
NEED I EXPLAIN MORE? NOT BEING RACIST. JUST BE REALISTIC ABOUT THE ""WHOLE"" ISSUE (AND IT'S MORE THAN COLLEGE ADMISSION PRACTISES)..........................AND THEN THERE IS THE BLUE EYED, ROSY CHEEKED, BLOND HAIRED AND PALE FACED (NO PUN INTENDED)
DUDE WHO IS GETTING MONEY EACH MONTH FROM THE BUREAU OF INDIAN AFFAIRS......................BECAUSE HIS GRAND MOTHER'S SECOND COUSIN ON HER FATHER'S SIDE, WAS AN APACHE!!!! ...."OH SAY CAN YOU SEE......................................."

1D

NICE LADY..............................SOME BITCH SOMEHWHERE WAS JUST FOUND GUILTY OF HIT AND RUN, CAUSING DEATH................SHE'S THE ONE WHO HIT A MAN SO HARD HE GOT STUCK IN HER WIND SHIELD.
THE BITCH DROVE HOME, PARKED IN HER GARAGE, LEAVING THE MAN
WHERE HE WAS STICKING (I'D LIKE TO STICK SOMETHING UP HER ASS WITH A BIG BARB ON IT!)..............SOMETIME LATER, SHE CALLED FRIENDS TO HELP WITH HER PROBLEM. DURING "THE LATER" THE MAN DIES, PERHAPS COULD HAVE BEEN SAVED. MAYBE DURING HER LIFE IN PRISON, SHE CAN MAKE WIND SHIELDS IN THE MACHINE SHOP.......
.......NICE BITCH.

1E

""""GOOD DAY LIVE"""" A MORNING TV 'SHOW' ON THE FOX NETWORK
GAVE ME A SUPER BONUS (WAS THAT WHAT IT WAS?) THIS AM. AS I HAVE PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED, I HAVE 'SUPER WOMEN' IN MY "BRAIN LIFE"...HELL, PAM ANDERSON EVEN ANSWERS MY PHONE WHEN I'M NOT AROUND .........ANOTHER ONE OF MY 'SUPER WOMEN' IS JILLIAN
BARBERI ,WHO CO-HOSTS THE SHOW...........THEY HAD PAM ON THIS
AM. WOW! I WAS ABLE TO DOUBLE DIP THIS MORNING!!!! DO YOU CARE? NO? TOUGH SHIT! THIS IS MY BRAIN FART!..................GOOD DAY LIVE IS A 'BRAIN FART' SHOW.....THAT'S WHY I ENJOY IT (ALONG WITH JILLIAN, OF COURSE.)!!

1F

AND FROM EGYPT: AL AHRAM (NEWSPAPER, ESTABLISHED IN 1875)
COMES AN EXERPT ON THE ISRAELI/PALESTINIAN ''THING'': SHARON IS PLAYING WITH WORDS: HE SAYS TO THE EFFECT THAT PALESTINIAN LEADER ABBAS IS A 'CHICK WITHOUT FEATHERS.....THAT ARAFAT WAS STILL RULING THE ROOST'................SUCH BREVITY, ARIEL!!!!!!!!!!!! DAM, ANOTHER CHICKEN JOKE? HA. HA. COLIN WILL TAKE IT FRIED. GEORGE BARBEQUED. THE EXXON CEO WANTS IT BOILED (IN OIL).
ARIEL LIKES THE PART THAT GOES OVER THE FENCE LAST.
CLUCK. CLUCK. CLUCK.

1G

MONDO TIME POLL................WOULD PULLING BACK FROM THE WAR
WITH IRAQ CAUSE FATAL POLITICAL DAMAGE TO PRESIDENT BUSH?
1,399 RESPONSES: 746 SAID YES. 553 SAID NO. 100 SAID NOT SURE.
GEORGE, 2004!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1H

"SHIT! THE LIMO IS BACK....................HI, GW. FORGET SOMETHING?''
'I NEED SOME TOILET PAPER.'
"WHY?"
'I TRIED TO BRAIN FART AND SHIT ALL OVER THE LIMO!'
"OH. GW, WILL YOU EVER LEARN?"
'SOMEDAY.'
"BEFORE OR AFTER YOU DESTROY, PERHAPS, THE WORLD?"

******************************************2004 IS COMING!!*****************************

good nite, "JC" Kitty............................................meow.

Sunday, June 22, 2003

NOW IS THE TIME FOR ALL GOOD MEN TO COME TO THE AID OF THEIR PARTIES...............and
NOW IS THE TIME FOR OLDCATMAN TO COME TO THE AID OF HIS BRAIN FARTIES.............................................DAMN, I GOT A MILLION OF 'EM!!

CATS......GO FIGURE!!!! "JC KITTY" IS SPRAWLED RIGHT NEXT TO MY KEYBOARD AGAIN...............AND I THOUGHT, IT WOULD BE COOL TO HAVE HER WALK ACROSS MY KEYBOARD (LIKE SHE DOES ALL THE TIME!!!!) AND THEN I COULD INTERPRET HER TYPING INTO
SOME CRYPTIC MESSAGE FROM THE MIND OF A 15 YEAR OLD CAT (SHE'S 105 IN DOG/CAT YEARS)......BUT SHE DID NOT DO IT....I EVEN COAXED HER AND SHE WOULDN'T!!....................it is 7:16PM, Mountain Time.............and we'll see if she will do it on her own before I quit farting my brains out.

aa

(and thanks in advance to the NY Times, The Guardian, The Mondotimes and last but not least THE MOSCOW TIMES......................and I'd like to thank my parents, my grandmother, my 1st. grade teacher (shit, that was a Nun, Sister Mary somebody), my former POT dealer, my 2 cats and my dog...without their help none of these farts would have happened. "Put up the applaud sign NOW!!"

................AND COLIN POWELL CLIMBED THE MOUNTAIN AND BELLOWED: "The killing must stop!" Where was he?? Jerusalem?
Baghdad? The Congo? The streets of LA? Can you imagine how pissed of Jesus must be about this eternal fight over Jerusalem.............but yes, if he is so pissed, why doesn't he come back and kick some ass? I'd make sure that GEORGE was first in line and then put back in line for seconds........."Give it to 'em, "JC" (and I don't mean my cat.)!! Aw shit, here come the wafers again. Please, use whole wheat with lots of fiber!

bb

WAS GEORGE LYING ABOUT THE "WEAPONS" THAT KILLED SOLDIERS AND IRAQI PEOPLE OR WAS HE JUST EXAGGERATING THE FACTS.............LIKE LBJ AND VIETNAM; NIXON AND WATERGATE, BILL
AND SEX AND MONICA AND THE BLUE DRESS? GEORGE, DID YOU ALSO "EXAGGERATE" ABOUT THE TAX CUT???? THERE ARE MILLIONS OF LOW INCOME PEOPLE THAT DIDN'T GET DITTLY SHIT!!
(HOW'D YOU DO??????) ME, I COULD CARE LESS......I DON'T PAY TAXES. (KISS MY ASS, IRS!!)

cc


SPEAKING OF LITTLE FARTS: Seems like men under 5'9 & 1/2" are statistically inferior to taller men. The shorties drop out of school more often, drink more often, get laid less often, are more sickly and depressed, don't get married, have less children, earn lower salaries and have lower lowers. If they do succeed, they end up with "Little Napoleon" ego-complexes.
Gee, Shorty, that's what one of my paper sources says..............wouldn't know, I'm 6'4"..........but then again, I don't get laid either......................
.....better luck in the next life, Shorty.

dd

AND FROM RUSSIA: The Russian Space Agency and a company (US)
called Space Adventures (Run by Flash Gordon? Tom Corbett? James Kirk? Mighty Mouse? Or some other short guy?) will be sending 2 more space tourists into space in 2005. They will be in space for 8-10 days (barring any loose tiles) and spend 6 lovely days and nites at the SPACE STATION!!!! .....and how much would YOU pay for such a trip?? How about 20 million per seat? .............and who said CAPITALISM isn't great?
(Lenin, I think............how ironic!!) ...hope they have a blast!!!!

ee

ANOTHER MONDOTIMES POLL (as in oldpollcatman?): 1,167 people responded to the question: SHOULD THE US GOVERNMENT PROVIDE PROOF OF ITS (GEORGE IS THE "IT") ASSERTION THAT IRAQ HAS/HAD WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION? 42 SAID 'NOT SURE';
245 SAID 'NO'; AND 880 SAID 'YES'...................NOW, SOMEWHERE IN MY NOTES, I HAVE A DIFFERENT VOTE TALLY......LET'S SEE, WHERE DID I PUT THAT FLORIDA DATA............I'LL GIVE JEB A CALL.

ff

WHAT DO ALL OF THESE PEOPLE HAVE IN COMMON: GALE ANN NORTON; J. STEPHEN GRILES; JAMES E. CASON; WILLIAM G. MYERS III; CAMDEN TOOHEY; REBECCA WATSON AND BENNETT RALEY????
???? THEY ALL HAVE BACKGROUNDS THAT IN SOME WAY OR ANOTHER, FUCKS/FUCKED WITH THE ENVIRONMENT (OF WHICH THERE IS ONLY ONE!!)...OH YEAH, THEY ARE ALSO ALL THE TOP OFFICIALS AT THE DEPARTMENT OF INTERIOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW, JESUS, GET PISSED ABOUT THIS STATE OF AFFAIRS, PLEASE!!
WELL, LET'S MAKE SURE THEY GO AWAY IN 2004.

gg

NOW IS THE TIME FOR ALL GOOD MEN TO COME TO THE END OF
THEIR PARTIES
NOW IS THE TIME FOR OLDCATMAN TO COME TO THE END OF HIS
BRAIN FARTIES.....................

........................still unaware if anybody reads this crap (solidified brain farts)............tell me, please: oldcatman@worldnet.att.net

beautiful sunset tonight.....hope there's another one tomorrow.

................and at 814pm, "JC" Kitty did not pounce across my keyboard!..
..........................................................meow!!

Saturday, June 21, 2003

"WELL, HELLO THERE."
"HI."
"ARE YOU?"
"AM I WHAT?"
"HIGH?"
"NO, THAT STRANGE MYSTIC LOOK I HAVE IN MY EYES, IS BECAUSE I AM ABOUT READY TO BRAIN FART."
"BRAIN FART?"
"BRAIN FARTS ARE LITTLE BLASTS OF CREATIVITY THAT THE MIND GENERATES IN SOME PEOPLE."
"HOW MANY PEOPLE?"
"PROBABLY ABOUT 10% OF THE PEOPLE."
"WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER 90%?"
"THEY HAVE THEIR HEADS UP THEIR COLLECTIVE ASSES."
"OH."
"GOT TO FART NOW. GOODBYE."
"BYE....................................................."

111111111111111111111111

NEWSPAPER STORY OF THE DAY: THE NEW ZEALAND HEARLD (AUCKLAND)!:.
A MAJOR INDUSTRY (AND GROWING) IN NEW ZEALAND IS 'FISH FARMING'.............WILD ""PINK"" SALMON IS THE MOST POPULAR
FARMED FISH (FOLLOWED BY SOME KIND THAT THE JAPANESE LIKE TO FOR SUSHI, aka 'fish bait')..............B U T..........: A PROBLEM HAS ARISEN (AND YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERYDAY): WILD SALMON GET THEIR PINK COLOR FROM THE 'KRILL' THEY EAT WHILE IN THE OCEAN............NO 'KRILL' NO PINK. WELL, ALONG COMES 'ROCHE' (A DRUG MAKER) WHO INVENTS 'SALMOFAN", A CHEMICAL THAT ALLOWS FISH FARMERS TO CHOOSE THE 'PINKNESS' (LIKE A PAINT STORE COLOR SAMPLE BOOK!!) OF THEIR SALMON. ......
..........BUT.............THIS CHEMICAL CAN HARM THE HUMAN EYE.....HMMMMMMMMMMMMM....'must not fool with Mother Nature....as a
''PS" to this fish story............in WWII (one of the "big ones") not much salmon fishing was done.....so they cut chunks out of "skates" (manta rays) and died them pink and sold them as..............salmon....""AND THE 'ONE' THAT GOT AWAY WAS .....THIS BIG!!!!!!""

2222222222222222222222222222222222222222222

.................MORE...THIS TIME FROM THE LA TIMES: "WE CAN 'WIN' ("UNDECLARE") A WAR IN A FEW SHORT WEEKS BUT YET WE CAN
NOT PROVIDE IRAQ WITH 24 HOUR ELECTRICITY OR GET THE OIL WELLS BACK IN PRODUCTION." WELL, BECHTEL AND EXXON WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELVES???????????......"what me, worry??"..................

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AND FROM MY (NOW!!!!!) ALL TIME FAVORITE NEWS WEBSITE, """"MONDOTIMES"""" SOME POLLS.............SURVEYS...............WHAT PEOPLE THINK...............ETC..........:POLL QUESTION: How smart is President George W. Bush?? 627 people responded. 36 think he is a genius; 169 think is he bright; 116 think he is dull; 114 think he is average;.... and 192 think he is a moron.....speaking of the latter, we're going to get you, GEORGE, IN 2 0 0 4 !!!!

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HARRY POTTER.................................................IN THE UK 8 COPIES PER SECOND WERE SOLD................"PR"...POTTER RIPOFF........THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE A 'WILLIE WONKA' THING...............HIDDEN A MESSAGE IN A RANDOM BOOK THAT OFFERED THE FINDER A PRIZE!! LIKE A DOZEN LITTLE WIZARD CONDOMS.............OR A 1 HOUR SPENDING SPREE AT THEIR LOCAL SPEEDY MART! BE A GUEST ON LENO!

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MICHAEL! MICHAEL! TYSON THAT IS...................THE 'BADDEST' MAN ON THE WHOLE PLANET....IS IN TROUBLE AGAIN.....I GUESS 2 JERK-OFFS, WITH HISPANIC NAMES, THREATENED TO HIT HIM WITH SOMETHING...AND YOU DON'T DO STUPID THINGS LIKE THAT TO
MIKE......HE KICKED THEIR ASSES.....GOT ARRESTED FOR THIRD DEGREE ASSULT AND DISORDERLY CONTACT............THE 2 TACO EATERS, GOT ARRESTED FOR MENACING (THE BADDEST MAN IN THE WORLD?) AND FOR DISORDERLY CONDUCT. LIVE AND LEARN.

(I JUST MADE SOME ETHNIC "SLURS", WHICH I WILL DO FROM TIME TO TIME BUT I USE THEM TO DESCRIBE INDIVIDUAL PEOPLE (AND NOT PEOPLES) WHO DISSERVE "MY SPECIAL ATTENTION".....DON'T LIKE IT? "TOUGH SHIT, HONKY."

666

AW, GEORGE............THE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION...NOW
YOU CLAIM..........LOOTERS TOOK THEM AS IRAQ WAS CRUMBLING... ....ANOTHER FAIRY TALE, GEORGE?? I CAN SEE IT NOW....'THEY'LL'
FIND AN ABANDON 49 DESOTO PARKED IN A GARAGE IN BAGHDAD
WITH A TRUNK FULL OF BAGS OF DOG SHIT WITH LIGHTER FLUID, DESTINED FOR USE ON THE WHITE HOUSE FRONT PORCH......"STOMP 'EM, GEORGE!!"

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""THE RIDE OF THE VALKGRIES"" (THE 'THEME' FROM APOLCALPSE
NOW................"I love the smell of napalm in the morning"..............I personally love the smell of POT, in the morning, afternoon or night......)
IS NOW THE THEME MUSIC OF THE BOYS IN IRAQ................BETTER THAN A 'MEN AT WORK' MEDLEY....................GUESS, 'THEY' ATTACKED A IRAQI HOUSE, DRUG OUT 1/2 DOZEN IRAQIS, WHILE A WOMAN WAILED, SEIZED SOME WEAPONS (NOT A MASS!!) AND...GOOD GOD......A COMPUTER DISK.......................WAS THE DISK THEN DETERMINED TO BE A MARIO BROTHERS GAME????..............
..............""GOOD MORNING, IRAQ!!"".....thanks, Robin.

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TIME FOR ONE MORE REALLY LOUD BRAIN FART...........THE SOUND OF 4TH OF JULY FIREWORKS.............WHY???? DON'T WE HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO WITH OUR MONEY THEN TO EXPLODE 'IT' IN THE SKY..........ALL OVER THE FUCKING COUNTRY..........HOW MUCH $$$$ IS SPENT ON THIS ASSINE ONCE A YEAR PASTTIME????
DISAGREE?? WELL, BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS WITH A M-80!!

99 BOTTLES OF BEAR ON THE WALL AND IF ONE OF THOSE BOTTLES SHOULD HAPPEN TO FALL..........98 BOTTLES OF BEER
ON THE WALL.....................................WRAP IT UP, PINK FLOYD!

UNTIL OUR PATHS CROSS AGAIN...........IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE???? oldcatman@worldnet.att.net I promise, I won't tell anybody that you emailed me!!!!

"Goodbye"
"Is it over?"
"Is what over?"
"The brain farting business?"
"Yes, can't you tell?"
"How can I tell?"
"The smell is gone..............................................."

Friday, June 20, 2003

IS THIS REALLY ME???????????????? SIGNED IN HAVING TO USE MY USERNAME AND PASSWORD (WHICH IS WHY I HAVE SUCH THINGS) WHICH IS NEW..............SURE HOPE THIS IS MY 'BLOG'...I'D HATE TO WRITE ALL THIS SHIT AND HAVE IT LAND SOMEWHERE ELSE.............................................

BRAIN FARTS ARE ""COMING""..................THAT'S WHAT PAM SAID EARLIER...............I HAVE A NEW PHONE MESSAGE THAT SAYS (IN A FEMALE VOICE) "HI. I AM PAMELA ANDERSON. MY STUD, 'GUY', IS NOT HOME. HE WILL CALL YOU AFTER HE COMES..............IN"......................YES, PAM IS ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAMOUS FEMALE HEROES..AND BEFORE THE GET YOUR BALLS/AND OR TITS IN AN UPROAR THAT "OLDCATMAN IS A SEXIST
PIG".....................KATIE COURIC IS ALSO ON MY LIST...MORE ABOUT MY LIST AT A LATER FARTING SESSION.

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5 PLUS HOURS (MOUNTAIN TIME) UNTIL IT WILL BE OK TO READ HARRY POTTER (THE KID WITH THE WIZARD CONDUMS FOR SALE)......8.5 MILLION COPIES WILL HIT THE FAN, MINUS THOSE STOLEN, BOUGHT AT A NY HEALTH FOOD STORE....
AMAZING...ALL OF THAT READING AND YET SOME "AGENCY" (HEW??) HAS COME OUT WITH A REPORT THAT THE READING SKILLS OF 4TH, 6TH AND 12TH GRADERS IS NOT GOOD. HOPE EVERYBODY (WHO??) CAN READ MY BRAIN FARTS!!!!

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AND THE FIRES HAVE STARTED.............BAD FIRE IN ARIZONA.
250 HOUSES DESTROYED........EVER BEEN NEAR A BIG FIRE?
WHEN I LIVED IN CALIFORNIA, I WAS REAL CLOSE TO A HUGE
FIRE NEAR YOSEMITE NAT'L PARK...HAD A FRIEND WHOSE HOUSE WAS ON AN EDGE OF A DEEP CANYON.....REMEMBER
VISITING HIM (TO HELP HIM EVACUATE) AND THE DEEP CANYON WAS TOTALLY ENGULFED IN SMOKE, SO THICK IT LOOKED LIKE YOU COULD HAVE DONE A 'MOSES WALK'...............LATER THAT DAY, A CAR PULLED OUT IN FRONT OF ME AND THE DRIVER FLIPPED A CIGARETTE OUT THE WINDOW....I CHASED THE PEOPLE DOWN AND MADE THEM GO BACK AND PUT THE FUCKING CIGARETTE OUT, AS ASH FROM THE YOSEMITE FIRE SPRINKLED DOWN ON US.....................IT'S SUMMERTIME.................PLEASE PAY HEED TO SMOKEY THE BEAR.....................................

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THE FUTURE KING IS NOW 21....................CAN YOU IMAGE BEING HIM????? ALL THE WOMEN!!!! WOW!!! "HEY, BABY, I'M GOING TO BE KING SOME DAY.....LET'S GO OUT AND DO IT......IN THE THRONE ROOM!" ...."DON'T MESS UP MY CROWN." LONG LIVE THE KING!

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SEX IN THE CITY IS CUMING BACK!!!! HO! HO! HO! HO! I GUESS THIS YEAR THERE WILL BE MORE SCREWS THAN THE SHELVES OF HOME DEPOT. HO! HO! HO! HO!...........get it?????????????? 4 HO's...........bad fart. No worse than...........
......HBOHOHOHOHO.

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BADDA BING! THE SOPRANOS ARE COMING BACK TOO. TONY AND ALL THE GANG (BANG!).....I MISS BIG PUSSEY...................HOPE THE RUSSIAN GIRL (NO, NOT THE ONE WITH 1 LEG THAT TONY GOT IN TROUBLE WITH SIPPING VODKA) CUMS BACK...SHE WAS A CUTIE......I ALSO THINK TONY SHOULD GET IT ON WITH HIS SHRINK...ON HER COUCH...AND MAYBE THIS YEAR CARMELLA WILL REALLY GET LUCKY.........I HEAR THERE IS A FORMER BISHOP (NO LESS) LOOKING FOR A GIG..........JUST INVISION THAT....DAMN, HERE COME THE WAFERS AGAIN!!!


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LYMAN FARIS?????????????? COUNTRY SINGER??? "BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATERS"?????????????? NOPE. SOME TRANSPLANTED CAMEL JOCKEY WHO HAD A MEETING (WHILE VISITING 'THERE') WITH THE MAN HIMSELF, OSAMA bin LADEN
(HAVE YOU SEEN THE PICTURE OF GEORGE, WITH A TOWEL WRAPPED AROUND HIS HEAD AND SPORTING A MUSLIM LIKE BEARD??)...............ANYWAY, I GUESS FARIS WAS CONTRACTED TO SLICE UP THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE...I THOUGHT THE REPUBLICANS SOLD THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE TO FOREIGN INVESTORS???? ANYWAY, FARIS WILL BE RENEGING ON HIS CONTRACT................still make get a country/western recording CONTRACT.............let's give a big GRAND OLE OPRY welcome to LYMAN FARIS AND THE JIHAD SINGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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TOLD YOU SO........................FORMER OKLAHOMA GOVERNOR FRANK KEATING RESIGNED FROM A CATHOLIC BISHOPS GROUP OVERSEEING ALL OF THE PRIESTLY CHILD ABUSE SHIT..................I GUESS, IN 1 YEAR OVER 300 'ROBED DUDES' HAVE BEEN "REMOVED", TO WHERE I'M NOT SURE. KEATING FEELS THAT THE BISHOPS GROUP ACTS LIKE THE MAFIA AND ONLY DOES WHAT IS GOOD FOR THE CHURCH......OH WELL, ANOTHER 'DEAR POPE' LETTER.................

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I BRIEFLY MENTIONED A WEB SITE THAT LISTS ALL THE NEWSPAPERS IN THE WORLD.............................................THE SITE IS:www.mondotimes.com/world/index.html ...................
I HAVE DECIDED..............SINCE I AM IN COMPLETE CONTROL OF MY BRAIN FARTS AND CAN DO, SAY, THINK, ETC. ANYTHING I WANT, I AM GOING TO SPOTLIGHT A NEWSAPER FROM AROUND (COLUMBUS WAS RIGHT!!) THE WORLD. MAY I PRESENT THE ""ATHENS NEWS"" NEWS: Lo and behold.the US OF A is sticking their/our goddamn noses into GREECE (should be hot GREASE to give US a burn). 'WE' (who's "we" , whiteman??) ARE BLASTING GREECE FOR THEIR EVIL PROSTITUTION BUSINESS!!!! .............HERE WE GO AGAIN, WE DON'T LIKE GREECE'S: ''''WOMEN OF MASS PROSTITUTION''''.............AW, JOE CONFORTE, WHERE ARE YOU WHEN WE NEED YOU?

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WELL, MY OLDEST CAT, "JC" KITTY (SHE'S PUSHING 15) IS SPRAWLED RIGHT NEXT TO MY KEY BOARD.............PROBABLY THINKING, 'if I walk across the keyboard now, I can really piss the old man off!' so, I'd better stop farting to avoid a serious confrontation with my cat....................love you, "JC"..........

until tomorrow........here's farting on you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS: GEORGE, I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU!!
2004 IS CUMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, June 19, 2003

.....AND NOTHING MORE..................................................................

the stimulating continuation this AM attempt to brain fart all over you and my fucking machine froze...froze so hard that i had to unplug the imac................was only in a few farts but was the 4th time since 060103
(initial/official brain fart start date........................moving along...............
......little doggie....................................................

LIVE FROM COLORADO!!!! IT'S OLDCATMAN!!!!


OBITS: DEATH IS VERY IMPORTANT TO THE WORLD OF THE LIVING. NOT ONLY WILL WE ALL FACE DEATH AT SOME POINT IN TIME, BUT THE SPIRITS OF THOSE WHO HAVE DIED MUST BE REMEMBERED IN ORDER FOR THOSE SPIRITS TO STAY ALIVE. RELIGIOUS?? HELL NO!! JUST SPIRITUAL....................I REMEMBER
THE FIRST DEATH (DEAD BODY) THAT I EVER SAW....AT LEAST PART OF A DEAD BODY....IN MY PRE 5TH GRADE LIFE, A VERY OLD COUPLE LIVED ACROSS THE STREET FROM US. ONE DAY A HEARSE (DON'T YOU EVER LAUGH WHEN ONE GOES BY...ETC.ETC.) CAME TO THE HOUSE AND SHORTLY, A BODY WAS WHEELED OUT, COVERED, EXCEPT FOR THE BARE TOES STICKY OUT FROM UNDER THE 'BLANKET'. AMEN, OLD MAN.

CURRENT OBITS: HUME CRONYN, ACTOR; TONY ROMA, RIB MAKER; LARY DOBY, THE FIRST BLACK BASEBALL PLAYER IN THE AMERICAN LEAGUE; A SOLDIER IN IRAQ AND AN IRAQI (OR 2) IN IRAQ. AMEN.

(PAIN IN THE ASS: FOR SOME REASON I DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH MEMORY TO PRINT THE FARTS SO FAR.............SO I HAVE POSTED "IT", SAVED IT IN A FOLDER AND WENT BACK VIA 'RE-EDIT'...OK, FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

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K-MART HAS ANNOUNCED ANOTHER PAID HOLIDAY FOR ALL OF ITS EMPLOYEES: ""JAN. 12, 2004"" IS NOW DESIGNATED AS MARTHA DAY, UNLESS SHE GETS A NEW TRIAL DATE AND AT SUCH TIME THE HOLIDAY DATE WILL BE CHANGED.

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ANDREW LUSTER (THE MAX FACTOR HEIR) WHO WAS CONVICTED OF RAPING 3 WOMEN (HE DRUGGED THEM AND THEN 'FACTORED' THEM...) HAS BEEN CAUGHT IN MEXICO BY THE FAMOUS BOUNTY HUNTER, 'DOG'............'DOG' HAS 6000 CAPTURES TO DATE......MAYBE THEY WILL LET LESTER TAKE SOME MAX FACTOR PRODUCTS TO PRISON WITH HIM...BUBBA WOULD SURE LIKE THAT!!

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HARRY POTTER. HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER, MY ASS!!!
A 100 MILLION DOLLAR LAW SUIT HAS BEEN FILED AGAINST THE NEW YORK DAILY NEWS FOR LEAKING SHIT OUT ABOUT THE BOOK. THE DAILY NEWS BOUGHT THE BOOK FROM A LOCAL HEALTH FOOD STORE...THE LOCAL WHAT???? I GUESS SOME MORE COPIES TURNED UP PREMATURELY AT A WALGREEN'S DRUG STORE IN FLORIDA. I THINK IT IS ALL ""PR"" CRAP....""PR""== 'potter ripoff'!!!! .....just more sales of the book and those little wizard condoms.......................................

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....and while we are on 'newspapers'..................there is a French web site called mondo times (mondo a french word??...thought Mondo was that dumb-ass brute in Blazing Saddles!)...seriously though, they have links to newspapers all over the world, by country and language the paper is
written in. On a lark, i looked up IRAQ. There were only 2 English language news papers listed. They were BABIL and INA (Iraqi News Agency). If you try and pull them up, you get the message "web site not found at last check"; really, that's what it said. Strange but.....the owner of BABIL is listed as Odai Saddam Hussein and the owner of INA is the Iraqi government.................guess they ran out of ink.........or ran out of Iraq!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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IRAN: NAUGHTY. NAUGHTY!!! YOU MUST CEASE AND DESIST FROM YOUR NUCLEAR PROGRAMS.....BECAUSE GEORGE SAYS SO. OK..............BUT WHO IN THE HELL IS GOING TO TELL US TO CEASE AND DESIST?? MAYBE THE ELECTORATE (ME AND YOU) IN 2004.

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2004. I GUESS GEORGE HAS SO MUCH FUCKING MONEY FOR HIS CAMPAIGN COFFERS THAT HE WON'T HAVE TO CAMPAIGN, OTHER THAN TO RUN NEGATIVE ADS ABOUT HIS OPPONENT.....HE'LL SPEND THE CAMPAIGN IN BED WITH HIS SUPPORTERS........EXPENSIVE POLITICAL WHORE!!.....................
...............................AND WHILE WERE ARE THINKING ''2004'', NADER, KEEP YOUR ASS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I AM AN ANIMAL LOVER. I HAVE 2 CATS, 1 DOG, SEVERAL DOZEN FISH (RESCUED FROM OUR POND THAT DRIED UP LAST SUMMER),
A DUCK, A COUPLE OF DOZEN CHICKENS AND I AM UNCLE TO MY SISTER'S 2 CATS..............................IN THE DENVER AREA THERE IS SOME ASSHOLE(S) MUTILATING CATS.................NEED TO CATCH THESE FOLKS AND PUT THEM IN A CELL..........WITH BUBBA? NO, BUBBA IS BUSY WITH MR. LUSTER...................HOW ABOUT WITH SIMBA??

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LAWS FOR THE GOOD OF US ALL???? THE DUDE THAT GOT THE WARNING LABEL ON CIGARETTE PACKAGES ("SMOKE AND YOU DIE") IS NOW AFTER THE F A S T F O O D PEOPLE.....BECAUSE PEOPLE NEED A WARNING ABOUT THE EVILS OF FAT FOOD..THAT IT CAN BE ADDICTIVE...WHAT FAT PEOPLE NEED IS TO HAVE THEIR LIPS SEWN SHUT OR A LESSON OR 2 IN GOOD NUTRITION...DAMN, I JUST GOT FRENCH FRY GREASE ON MY KEY BOARD AND MY FAT FINGERS ARE SLIDING ALL OVER THE PLACE...AND IS THAT SECRET SAUCE ON MY SCREEN????

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......................how are they hanging????????????? about time to hang this up................brain farts simmering down.....................until we meet again.............................oldcatman@worldnet.att.net..............please drop me a (hook) LINE (and sinker)........................

buy

........................................this is not fun anymore.
my fucking computer froze while brain farting. froze so hard that i had to disconnect the plug to unfreeze the son of a bitch...or bastard.....i've never been able to determine the sex of my imac...............maybe it was the computers fault.................maybe the blogspot people are doing something with their system.................maybe AT & T via Quest via my local phone company (or what ever combination of fault) did something.
the bottom line is, i have to redo yet another day's brain farts........at least this time (the 4th!!!!!!!!!) i had printed the "type box", so the excellent intro is saved........................but for later......in the PM when there may be fewer fingers in the pot but i'll give the opening FART
now because it is not a "evening" opening........................

ONCE UPON A MIDDAY NOT SO DREARY
WHILE I PONDERED NOT SO WEAK AND WEARY,
OVER MANY A VOLUME OF SOON TO BE ART,
SUDDENLY THERE CAME A RUMBLING,
AS IF SOMETHING WAS GENTLY TUMBLING,
'TIS A GIANT GASEOUS BRAIN FART....
....AND NOTHING MORE............................................

'TIL THE PM................

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

AFTER YESTERDAY'S FUCKING DISASTER I AM CONSTIPATED...NO BRAIN FARTS....DID AN HOUR'S WORTH OF WEED EATING WITH ONE OF THOSE 6 HORSEPOWER WHEELED WEED EATERS............IT GIVES ME 'TIM "THE TOOL MAN" TAYLOR' BALLS!!! CAN'T TYPE THAT GROWL NOISE THAT HE MAKES...BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN..............PISSES ME OFF SO DAMN MANY THINGS IN THE NEWS BUT I AM GOING TO SAVE THEM UP FOR TOMORROW..........................I DID PUT 4 ANTI GEORGE IN 2004 BUMPER STICKERS ON MY TRUCK....I PROBABLY WILL GET SOME MORE........THE VOTE IS THE ONLY WAY TO GET THE ASSHOLE OUT OF OFFICE...UNLESS HE SUCCESSFULLY GETS ANOTHER PRETZEL STUCK IN HIS THROAT..OR MAYBE 2......OR THE WHOLE BAG.....MUSTARD FLAVORED. CRAWFORD, TEXAS.....NEARBY MY PLACE OF RESIDENCE IS ALSO A TOWN CALLED CRAWFORD (CO)
WHERE, WOULD YOU BELIEVE, THE GREAT JOE COCKER LIVES???
..................IS THIS A BRAIN FART????????????????
DON'T KNOW............ONCE I START FARTING (????) IT'S HARD TO STOP..............MAYBE I SHOULD COMPETE IN ONE OF THOSE FARTING CONTESTS THAT HOWARD STERN HAS ON HIS TV SHOW!
(HE ALSO HAS A RING TOSS GAME. INVOLVING RINGS, A POST AND A NAKED LADY............USE YOUR IMAGINATION IF YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN IT..................BUT IF YOU'RE PART OF THE 90% FACTOR, THEN YOU HAVE NO IMAGINATION.................STILL DON'T KNOW IF ANYBODY READS THIS STUFF (oldcatman@worldnet.att.net).

DAMN, I CAN'T RESIST THIS, A LETTER THAT ARRIVED AT THE VATICAN: "Dear Pope, Looks like I fucked up again...........sorry about that! I blew (no pun intended) the priests and the alterboy shit and now I hit some dude and kill his ass.....still thought it was a cat (235 pound cat!!) and I fired my secretary for failing to get my car fixed ASAP...you'd think that somebody could have fixed a shattered windshield for an old saintly bastard of a priest! Anyway, Pope, I quit!! Yours truly, Tommy"
....AND THEN I HEARD THE LETTER WAS SENT POSTAGE DUE!
WITH APOLOGIES TO MY CATHOLIC FRIENDS AND RELATIVES??
HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THROW YOUR WAFERS AT ME, I DON'T CARE....BESIDES WITH A LITTLE PROVOLONE AND EXTRA VIRGIN (YEAH!!) OLIVE OIL THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD...WISH THEY WERE ORGANIC THOUGH. AND I SPENT GRADES 1-4 AT ST. PATRICK'S GRAMMER SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY FIRST TASTE OF WAFERS....ONE FRIDAY OUT OF THE MONTH WE HAD AN AM COMMUNION...FOLLOWED UP WITH CINAMMON ROLLS AND MILK.........GREAT TREAT...TOO MANY CARBS BUT WHAT DO NUNS KNOW ABOUT CARBS????

WELL, IT'S 10:04 PM AND ALL IS WELL...I THINK I'LL 'HIT THE HAY"...YEAH, I'LL GO OUT TO THE BARN AND HIT A BALE OF HAY!!

UNTIL I BRAIN FART YOU'RE WAY AGAIN..................................


Tuesday, June 17, 2003

would you believe.................as my finger moved to the "publish" the blog box, a fucking power failure occurred and badda-bing--I lost 2 hours of brain farts.......................................................

do not have the fucking energy to go again............................I guess I'll have to print this fucking little box each time it is full...........................

Aw, the high price we bloggers pay..............................................

Lots of farts tomorrow..........................................

Monday, June 16, 2003

.........JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SAFE TO GO BACK INTO THE WATER..........FREE OF THE LITTLE BUBBLES THAT BRAIN FARTS CREATE.....................i'm back...............another day another brain fart, such is the gaseous world that i exist in................and again, not sure if anybody else besides myself, know that i exist: email: oldcatman@worldnet.att.net ........................................

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more about me..............i look at my brain farts as self serving, egotistical, ramblings brought on by my anger at things that happen in the world in which i did not choose (did you choose??) to live in.....my world was much easier to live in when my best inanimate
"friend" was a water pipe made out of a small fish bowl (the kind you win at county fairs) inwhich i smoked one hell of a lot of pot--you know, that stuff they call "an illegal" drug that really isn't a drug at all but a natural herb that grows (like a "weed", whereever) AND IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE COMPANIES, THE PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES. THE AMA, THE RELIGIOUS
R I G H T (WRONG!!) ALL BACKED UP BY THE US GOVERNMENT, would not be illiegal.................if i have to explain why the above entities deem POT to be illegal, then you're not enitled to an explanation and the rest of ""us"" no why..............................again: SELF SERVING, EGOTICAL, RAMBLINGS...............but it feels so gooooooooooooooooooooood!!!!!!!!!!!!

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....watched the ""TODAY SHOW"" (an AM must...I'm infatuated with Katie!!) and listened to one, Rob Campos....the bachelor on the
(un)reality show: 'FOR LOVE OR MONEY'....I guess he has to woo a
chickie-poo into falling in love with him AND THEN the winning chicky-poo has a choice: Marry the dude or take 1 million dollars!!
Bullshit.............when it come to these TV reality shows, I am glad that I do not have the television techinology to watch them; in other words, I don't have a television set up my ass................................

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THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK "ORDER OF THE PHOENIX" DEBUTS AT THE END OF THE WEEK..AND JK ROWLINGS MAKES MAKES MAKES MAKES another trip trip trip trip TO HER BANK(S) AND THE MARKETING CRAP GOES ON: a harry robe with fiber optic lights @ $55.99----magic wand with batteries that run lights and sound @ $12.99----forehead scar makeup @ $7.49 and for that little wizard,
hairy (literally) condoms @ $10.00 a baker's dozen. I'M NOT A BOOK READER.......THINK THE LAST BOOK I READ WAS "LAST OF THE MOHICANS" BY JAMES FENIMORE COOPER...that was in my teen years when i was "oldkittenman"................meow.....

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HI, GEORGE.....................It occurred to me the other day: can you image if George had twin boys instead of girls...............how scary would that be: 2 "young adult males" that looked like GEORGE!!!!
................."and what do you want to be when you grow up?", asked their GRANDFATHER............................no! NO! no! NO! What a
nightmare!

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I READ A NEWS BLIP (AT THE NY TIMES) ABOUT THE "YEARS" OF SEXUAL ABUSE (OF WOMEN) AT THE AIRFORCE ACADEMY....COME ON, FOLKS, FACE REALITY....WHAT IS A PRIMARY REASON THEY LET WOMEN IN THE ARMED SERVICES ANYWAY????????????????? THINK THE US MILITARY IS ANY DIFFERENT THAT ANY OTHER COUNTRY'S SOLDIERS (MALE)??
(WILL THERE BE A BOOK OUT CALLED: ""I LOST MY VIRGINITY
IN THE BACK OF A HUMMER"")................GOOD READING FOR THOSE LONELY NIGHTS..................

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I WATCHED "WALK WITH CAVEMEN" LAST NIGHT ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL.....GREAT DOCUMENTARY..............and now i have more evidence to support my ""90%"" theory (see previous brain farts).......Sorry, Alec, not all the "people" viewed became extinct!!!!!

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ALL'S WELL THAN END'S WELL.....................NOW THAT I'VE SMELLED EVERYTHING UP, I THINK I WILL END THIS GASEOUS
AFFAIR FOR ANOTHER DAY..........................

...................AS LONG AS WE ALL (PARTICULARLY ME!!) WAKE
UP TOMORROW............................................

bye



Sunday, June 15, 2003

Happy Father's Day, DAD (in memorium)..................

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WHO IS THIS MASKED BLOGGER MAN?? HI-HO AND AWAY!!
RIDING HIS GREAT HORSE 'BRAINFART' ('SILVER', WAS TAKEN BY ANOTHER FAMOUS 'MASKED MAN') , OLDCATMAN (DON'T WEAR A MASK....JUST A BLACK SWEATBAND AND BLACK FELT COWBOY HAT THAT HAS A WOLF AND CAT PIN, ALONG WITH A PEACE SYMBOL)) RIDES OUT OF THE SUNSET TO RESCUE THE OPPRESSED PEOPLES OF THIS WORLD AND BEYOND......AND TO DESECRATE GEORGE AND ALL OTHER 'EVIL DOERS' THAT STALK THE WORLD AND BEYOND........................

......................AND BEYOND: I LIKE COLORFUL LANGUAGE/SEMANTICS.............TO EXPOSE MY CAUSTIC ANGER: IF I USE THE WORD "FUCKING", I AM REALLY PISSED.
IF I USE THE WORD "F--KING", I AM SORT OF PISSED. IF I USE THE WORDS "DAMN, HELL OR SHIT" I AM JUST STRESSING A
POINT.....like the one on George's head.....................

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I HAVE FOUND THE ""NEW YORK TIMES"" TO BE A GREAT RESEARCH NEWPAPER..........GREAT BRAIN FARTS COME FROM THERE!! READ TODAY ANOTHER ARTICLE ON "THEIR" (I DIDN'T DO IT!!) ABUSE OF NATIVE AMERICANS..THE STRUGGLE TO SURVIVE IN THE LAND OF THE WHITE HAT (ACTUALLY, A WHITEWASHED UGLY BLACK HAT.."NOT MINE!").....BUT THEY DO GET ONE OFF NOW AND THEN: THE NEZ PERCE' GUIDE OF LEWIS AND CLARK (INITIAL ABUSERS) HAD A NAME THAT TRANSLATED INTO: ""FURNISHES WHITE MAN WITH BRAINS""..........George, find your self a Native American guide!

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IRAQI (THE MOST WANTED) PLAYING CARDS: DAMN! DOES THIS MEAN GEORGE IS NOW PLAYING WITH A FULL DECK????
NO, I SUSPECT IT'S STILL SHUFFLED.

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HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, POP.............FROM ODAI, QUSAI, RAGHDA, RANA AND HALA.....................AND ANY OF YOUR ILLEGITAMTE ( ILLEGITAMATE NICE WORD.........................)
CAMEL JOCKIES/JOCKETTES ROAMING THE DESERT.

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WHATS IN A NAME????? WHITEHOUSE SPOKESPERSON: ARI FLEISCHER...............HOW COME THERE ISN'T A SPOKESPERSON NAMED MAHMOUD ALI BABA?? MUST BE THE CAPITALISTIC INFLUENCE; PEOPLE WHO OWN DEPARTMENT STORES (OR WHO ARE DOCTORS) HAVE MORE INFLUENCE THAN THOSE WHO DRIVE TAXIS OR OWN SPEEDYMARTS............did i just write that...damn!

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NEW AND DISAPPROVED IRAQI DEATH COUNT: BETWEEN
5534 AND 7207..............AND CLIMBING. fuck! (remember word
usage clues??)................................

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ARIEL VERSUS YASIR-------A WORLD TITLE BOUT!!!
YASIR WOULDN'T STAND A CHANCE AGAINST THE FAT ASS...
BUT THEN AGAIN, MAYBE THAT'S HOW THE DISPUTE SHOULD BE SETTLED....................AND THINK OF IT.....GEORGE VERSUS
SADDAM..............NO MUSTACHE PULLING, GEORGE...GROIN KICKS ALLOWED AND ASS KISSING...PUCKER UP, GEORGE.

**************************************************

......AND ARE THERE WEAPONS OF HAMAS DESTRUCTION??


*****************************************************

CAN'T WRITE A WHOLE LOT ABOUT THE MODESTO (CALIFORNIA) PETERSONS................CAN'T IMAGINE A FATHER DOING THAT TO HIS SOON TO BE BORN SON...A WIFE MAYBE, BUT NOT A SON......................HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, SCOTT.

*******************************************************************************

................and getting towards the end.................a special father's day greeting to George: IN ONE OF THE SKIRMISHES OF THE WAR THAT WAS DECLARED OVER ON 050103, A GRANDFATHER, 3 OF HIS SONS AND A GRANDSON WERE "ACCIDENTALLY" KILLED...SHOT UP SO BAD THEY HAD TO BE IDENTIFIED BY AN APPENDIX SCAR AND A MISSING FINGER....ACCIDENTAL, HMMMMMMMMMM. AN AUNT IN THE FAMILY WAS HEARD TO SAY: ""I USED TO SAY LONG LIVE BUSH!
LONG LIVE BUSH! (FOR GIVINGTHEM THEIR FREEDOM, I GUESS)".....THE THE AUNT NOW SAYS: ""I WILL NOT FORGIVE 'HIM'. THEY WERE SO YOUNG. THEY HAD CHILDREN. THEY NEVER COMMITTED ANY CRIME. 'HE' HAS LEVELED OUR FAMILY" (AS READ IN THE NY TIMES, amen.)
********happy father's day, asshole***************

***********************************************************


........................GUESS I AM RUNNING OUT OF TOILET PAPER TO WIPE UP THE EXCESS BRAIN FARTS.................................UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN......................HI-HO, BRAINFART, AND AWAY...............TAKE ME AWAY.............AWAY DOWN SOUTH IN DIXIE...................CHICKS.....A FAVORITE OF GEORGE'S.......BUT 'HE'S' NOT A FAVORITE OF MINE...................................

CURSE ME AT: oldcatman@worldnet.att.net

YOU MAY CURSE NOW......BUT YOU'LL LOVE ME IN THE MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


THEE END

Saturday, June 14, 2003

............now i lay my brain down, free of dense fogs
............to copulate another batch of caustic blogs.
............like a shopping spree, i'll fill my carts
............with a shit load of these old brain farts.
............i can only hope that i can make the hump
............before this fucking computer takes another dump!

AN ODE TO YESTERDAY............................................................

HI! HEY! HELLO AGAIN! IT'S HOWDY DOOBIE (LIKE IN "JOINT" OR "BROTHERS") TIME...BUT NOBODY IS PULLING MY STRINGS...TAKE A HIKE, "BOB", BECAUSE MY BRAIN FARTS ARE SURE TO "BUFFALO" YOU...BUT TO 10% OF THE WORLD, THEY ARE AS "CLARA" AS A "BELLE".................

***********

MADAME TUSSAUD'S IS JUST BUSTING OUT ALL OVER!! NEW BRITTANY SPEARS (ONE OF THE "SHOW ME YOUR BELLIE BUTTON AND I'LL SHOW YOU MINE CROWD") IS GOING TO HAVE INFLATABLE BOOBS THAT WILL HEAVE AROUND WHEN "SHE" SINGS...HEAVE AS IN "BARF" ??........................AND THEY HAVE A BRAD PITT FIGURE THAT HAS A SQUEEZABLE ASS! ....HOW ABOUT A JOHN HOLMES FIGURE THAT YOU CAN...................??

****************

THE STATES OF COLORADO, UTAH AND NEW MEXICO ARE ASKING THE FEDERAL HIWAY DEPARTMENT TO RENUMBER ONE OF THEIR HIWAYS.....ROUTE 666 TO BE EXACT. I HEAR THAT ARIEL SHARON LIKES TO DRIVE HIS VW BUS ON THIS ROAD (TO PEACE, YASIR!).................

******************

......"WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL", WHICH IS SCRAWLED ON THE BATHROOM WALLS OF THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT. WHICH IS RUN RUN RUN BY JOHN ASSCROFT ("ASH TO ASH, DUST TO DUST"). SEEMS AT ONE TIME JOHNNY
APPROVED OF A DEPARTMENTAL "GAY PRIDE" DAY BUT NOW HE IS RESCINDING HIS APPROVAL!! TELL ME, JOHN-JOHN, WHAT DOES THIS DO TO THE GOVERNMENT'S OVERALL POSITION ON GAY RIGHTS???? HAVE YOU NO PRIDE, JON??

**********************************************

TALK ABOUT "GETTING STUCK HOLDING THE BASKET"!! THAT LITTLE 7 YEAR OLD GIRL SOMEWHERE IN THE "SOUTH" (WHERE ELSE, BESIDES CALIFORNIA, COULD SUCH A THING HAPPEN?) WAS ASSISTING HER "MOTHER" IN SHOPLIFTING AT A CONVIENCE STORE....SECURITY WAS ALERTED...THE "MOTHER" SPED OFF, LEAVING THE LITTLE GIRL "HOLDING THE BASKET".........THE GOOD NEW IS, PERHAPS NOW THE LITTLE GIRL WILL FIND A GOOD HOME. "MOTHER'S" LIKE THIS SHOULD BE BORN WITH THEIR TUBES TIED (AROUND THEIR NECK).

********************************************

NEW MOVIE COMING OUT: ""TOP DUNG"", STARRING GEORGE 'ACE' BUSH, ANNA NICOLE SMITH AND PAUL REUBENS, FEATURING A CAMEO (CAMEL?) ROLE BY SADDAM HUSSEIN.....OPENING IN A BUNKER SOON!!!!!

********************************
GAZA STRIP: SOUNDS LIKE A STRIP JOINT IN NEW JERSEY, OWNED BY TONY "LITTLE TITS" GAZA, NEPHEW TO THE "DON"
.............................

**************(thought i was going to brain fart you off the "DON"..ha!
fooled your ass!)

"I DECLARE" SAID GEORGIE ON 050103 THIS 'WAR' TO BE OVER".............WHAT? GEORGE, HOW COME FOLKS ARE STILL BEING MAIMED AND KILLED.."i do delcare, you're a god damn lair!"
GEORGE, DO YOU KNOW WHO GANDHI IS???? NO, ASSBITE, NOT THE GUY WHO RUNS THE SPEEDYMART AROUND THE CORNER FROM THE WHITEHOUSE.......GANDHI THE GREAT INDIAN (NO, GEORGE, NOT LIKE TONTO) LEADER. HE SAID: "I OBJECT TO VIOLENCE BECAUSE IT APPEARS TO DO GOOD, THE GOOD IT DOES IS ONLY TEMPORARY; THE EVIL IT DOES IS PERMANENT." ......"well, i declare!!"


******************************************
TIME TO PACK UP ALL MY CARES AND WOES AND HERE I GOES
TO....??????????????????????

i'm over the hump and there was no dump;
oh what a happy oldcatman am i!!!

peacepeacepeacepeacepeacepeacepieceofpeace

*******
*********
********


Friday, June 13, 2003

............................FRIDAY THE FUCKING 13TH.....................................

I HAD JUST ABOUT FINISHED TODAY'S MANY BRAIN FARTS (THE ROOM WAS REALY SMELLING) AND THE GOD DAMN 'MACHINE" FROZE, 2 FARTS AWAY FROM THE END.......................................I LOST THE ENTIRE 'THING'.........I DO NOT HAVE THE FARTING ENERGY TO RE-CREATE ALL OF THAT GASEOUS STUFF.........

IN REALITY, I THINK IT IS A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY TO KEEP ME FROM SAYING WHAT I SAY HERE..............YESTERDAY, A SIMILAR INCIDENT OCCURRED................PARANOID??

NO.

JUST PISSED OFF................

TERRIBLE FEELING TO "LOSE ALL OF THAT"!

KIND OF LIKE BARFING IN THE TOILET BOWL, HAVING YOUR FALSE TEETH FALL OUT................AT THE SAME TIME YOU ARE UNCONTROLLABLY FLUSHING THE TOILET!

BAD FEELING. BAD FEELING. bad feeling.............................LIKE:

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE CONDOM BROKE", SHE SAID... OR...

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU FORGOT TO BUY THAT LOTTERY TICKET!" OR.....

OVER HEARD IN FLORIDA IN NOVEMBER 2000: ....AND JEB SAID, "DON'T WORRY, GEORGE, I'VE GOT YOU COVERED."

NOTHING NEWSY HERE....................JUST THE RAMBLINGS OF AN OLDCATMAN THAT BLEW UP HIS ENTIRE 061303 BLOG!!

FRIDAY THE 13TH, MY ASS!!! HELL, I LOVE BLACK CATS!

SHIT!

BETTER SHUT THIS DOWN BEFORE I START TO CRY OVER THE LOSS OF MY 061303 BRAIN FART(S) AND ON MY KEYBOARD.....I CAN JUST SEE THE TEARS SHORTING OUT THE KEYBOARD, BLOWING UP MY COMPUTER,. CATCHING MY HOUSE ON FIRE, STARTING A GRASS FIRE THAT BURNS THE PROPERTY DOWN, SPREADS TO TOWN...............................AND MRS. LEARY, YOU THINK YOUR COW DID SOME BAD SHIT!!!!

I JUST CAN'T STOP...........HAVING VERY STRANGE BRAIN FARTS!!

ON CLOSING, A WORD GAME TO EASE THE PAIN:

MOXLEYREEVESRAYESTEWARTWASHINGTON
PLIMPTONVINEYARDAND THELITTLEGIRLDOWNTHESTREET


SEE YOU IN THE AM..........................................................................
........................AW, THAT WAS GOOD...ONE LAST BRAIN FART!

OH....FOR ENTERTAINMENT YOU COULD EMAIL ME AT:
oldcatman@worldnet.att.net
OR VISIT ANOTHER SITE OF MINE ON THE INTERNET AT WEBGURUS:

www.webgurus.com/matic/search.cgi?reg_id=26490

MY different CAUSTIC view of the war, george, etc.

ARNOLD, SAY IT WITH ME, BABY: "I'LL BE BACK!"....................................................................................................................................................................................................................
..................MY GARDEN IS GROWING: 10 HYBRID ROMA TOMATOES PLANTS AND AWAITING GERMINATION: 12 JALPENOS, 2 PUMPKINS............AND COMING SOON, A COUPLE OF YELLOW SQUASH AND SOME MORE PEPPERS..................DO YOU REALLY CARE?????????????????????????????

EXCUSE ME.................THERE'S SOMEONE AT MY DOOR...THEY HAVE WHITE COATS, A JACKET WITH EXTREMELY LONG SLEEVES
AND A GIANT BUTTERFLY NET......................................................................................................................................I HOPE I'LL BE BACK............................................

FOR MORE NEW NEWS AND VIEWS, CATCH THE 061403 BRAIN FARTS ON AN INTERNET NEAR YOU TOMORROW.









Thursday, June 12, 2003

ho hum ho hum ho hum

ROUND 2......................DID ALL THIS SHIT EARLIER THIS AM AND I WAS ALMOST DONE AND MY UNCONTROLLABLE (??) LEFT HAND
MYSTERIOUSLY HIT A KEY ON THE LEFT SIDE OF MY KEYBOARD AND MY ENTIRE EFFART (BRAIN) WIPED ITSELF OUT...LIKE COMPUTER
TOILET PAPER, WITHOUT THE SMELL...............WELL, STARTING OVER (WITH MY SHORT TERM MEMORY PROBLEMS) WILL BE A TRIP...I ALWAYS START WITH NOTES GATHERED FROM YESTERDAY'S FARTS(BRAIN)................GATHERING PLACES: my creative mind, TV news, The Today Show, Denver Post, NY Times, San Fracisco Examiner the news blips on my AT & T home page AND MY CREATIVE MIND.

A SAD NOTE: I GREW UP WATCHING THE HUNTLEY/BRINKLEY EVENING NEWS...............DAVID BRINKLEY HAS DIED..............................PEACE, DAVID.
.....AND MORE SAD NEWS: GREGORY PECK HAS DIED...A GREAT CAPTAIN AHAB!!!! PEACE, GREGORY.
*****************************************************************************************

MORE ABOUT ABDULLA THE SYRIAN TRAILER DEALER WHO BOUGHT THE IRAQI TRAILER (SUSPECTED OF HOUSING THAT "MASS" BULL SHIT)....HAS FILED BANKRUPTCY.....UNDERSTAND THAT GEORGE WILL BE BUYING HIS ENTIRE INVENTORY AND GIVING IT TO BECHTEL TO BE USED AS PORTABLE OFFICES AND WHORE HOUSES. LET THE MASS CONTRUCTION BEGIN!!!!!

GAS PRICES GOING UP....UP.....AND AWAY!!!! I WAS LED TO BELIEVE THAT GAS WOULD BE FREE(!!) WHEN WE WON THE "WAR"......LIAR! LIAR! PANTS ON FIRE!! (BUT THEN GEORGE'S PANTS ARE ON FIRE A LOT).....................A PROBLEM COULD BE THE INFAMOUS "SUV".....aka: "SUCK UP VEHICLE" AND IF AUTO WRECK STATS ARE RIGHT, A VEHICLE OF MASS DESTRUCTION IN ITS OWN RIGHT. SOMEDAY, DETROIT WILL BUILT A VEHICLE SO BIG (HOW BIG??) THAT IT WILL HAVE NEGATIVE GAS MILEAGE!
.......HONK. HONK............................................

75 YEARS OF ISRAELI/PALESTIAN FIGHTING OVER WHO'S GOD IS THE RIGHT ONE, FLOWING INTO PROPERTY WARS, FLOWING INTO THE DEATHS OF 1000'S!!!! I CAN JUST INVISION THEIR 2 GODS, ONE WEARING A BEANIE AND THE OTHER WITH A TOWEL WRAPPED AROUND HIS HEAD, FIGHTING OVER......?????
.....................PEACE, PLEASE......................


A NEW TAX IS COMING???? NOW "THEY" WANT TO PUT A TAX ON HIGH FAT FOODS! WELL, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I QUIT SMOKING CIGARETTES MANY YEARS AGO WHEN CALIFORNIA
LEVIED A LARGE PACK TAX..............AND BEING FRUGAL (BUT NOT NECESSARILY HEALTH CONSCIOUS) I QUIT! A FAT FOOD TAX, TRULY ONE OF TAXATION WITH REPRESENTATION...........KEEP EATING AND PAYING THE FAT TAX, YOU CAN LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE THE RESULTS: A FATTER ASS FATTED UP BY FAT FOODS WITH A FAT TAX................................burp..............

A NEW GOVERNOR IN CALIFORNIA???? ARNOLD!!! I GUESS GREY DAVIS IS NOT PLEASING FOLKS......THINK THE ONLY PERSON GREY PLEASED WAS EDMUND "PAT" BROWN FORMER GOVERNOR
.....GREY USED TO BE THE GOVERNOR'S GOPHER........IF JESSE VENTURA CAN DO IT SO CAN ARNOLD..........REMEMBER "PREDATOR"??? ARNOLD, "WE'LL BE BACK!" TO FOLLOW YOUR CAMPAIGN..................OR MOVIE 'PR'...... WHICH EVER....... TIME TO TERMINATE 3 THIS BIT!!!

MONKEY POX: ANOTHER DESEASE SCURGE HITS THE WORLD............I HAVE A FIELD FULL OF PRAIRIE DOGS..NEVER THOUGHT TO HAVE ONE AS A PET? AND SOME SORT OF FOREIGN RAT (THE POX CARRIER) AS A PET???? WHATEVER HAPPENED TO DOGS, CATS, GOLDFISH (I HAVE ALL 3) AND CROCODILES AS PETS?????? ....oh bite me!......

CAMEL SHIT...................NOW HERE IS A WEAPON OF MESS DESTRUCTION.......YOU FILL A PLAIN PAPER BAG WITH CAMEL SHIT....PUT IT ON THE WHITE HOUSE DOOR......LITE IT ON FIRE...AND GEORGE COMES OUT AND STOMPS IT OUT,,,,,MESS DESTRUCTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...oh crap...................

YES, I LIKE TO PICK ON GEORGE...AND I PICK MY NOSE TOO. IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE "MAN".......I LIKED IKE.........DAMN NEAR WORSHIPED JOHN......................LBJ MADE ME OBNOXIOUS..
.....RONNIE SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME.................DICKY ALSO SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME................JIMMY, I STILL LOVE PEANUTS................GERRY (WHO?).......GEORGE SR. WAS TOLERABLE BUT A REPUBLICAN......................AND THEN CAME BILL
"THE MAN"...HOW ABOUT A THIRD TERM! .......................................
..................SO, GEORGE AND YOUR FANS, "STICK IT IN YOUR EAR"!


ON CBS NEWS LAST NITE: SOME GIRL ( A FORMER NEWSPERSON)
HAD A BIT ABOUT HER COOKING DIFFERENT RECIPES FOR 365 DAYS, ETC. AND PUTTING THEM ON A "BLOG" (SOMEHOW FOOD AND BRAIN FARTS DON'T GO TOGETHER) AND MADE REFERENCE TO "BLOGS" BEING FULL OF PORN.............HAVEN'T SEEN IT MYSELF................maybe she meant "corn"...............

ENOUGH SAID: email me at oldcatman@worldnet.att.net
AND UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN...ASSUMING SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE DOES MEET ME HERE.......................I'll be back!!

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

"Tis a lovely mornin'.......................... pollen shit in the air.....sneezed in the double digits so far!

LOTS OF BRAIN FARTS THIS MORNING (to go along with the sneezes; sure plays hell with 2 orafices!)

THE ACCUSED SAN JOSE (CA) KIDNAPPER/RAPIST: PUT HIM IN A CELL WITH A REALY BAD "BUBBA" ...............ARMED WITH A PAIR OF RUSTY TINSNIPS......LET "BUBBA" HAVE A BALL....AT LEAST 2.

LOUISVILLE ARCHDIOCESE (CATHOLIC CHURCH'S "CEO"....could go for an ACRONYM but I won't!): has paid out 25 million for 243 sexual abuse victims (maytbe these priests should "break bread" with a "BUBBA"?)................WOW! LOTS OF $$$$........................past the basket again, again, again and again!! Charge for those wafers and wine??
Sell holy candy to children...damn (as the priest said) what a temptation!!

MARTHA: Too bad HOOVER is gone, I'm sure he would have enjoyed a relationship with MARTHA, exchanging notes on silky sheets and PJ's
and maybe they could have created a K-Mart "J. EDGAR" line of housewife dresses and nighties.

CIGARETTES: Now the tobacco companies are suing the STATE OF CALIFORNIA because the STATE'S anti smoking TV commercials are too "ugly" and misrepresent tobacco executives as evil men!! DYING OF LUNG CANCER, CONTAMINATING THE AIR I BREATH, SMELLING UP EVERYTHING CLOSE is ugly and evil too....................so "put that in your pipe and smoke it, RJ!!"

TELEMARKETING: Now they call back and leave threatening messages!! Suggestion: Leave your answering machine on at maximum rings (so you can pick up)..mine seems to force marketer's auto dial units to self disconnect......those who get thru..."get my wrath": hang up in their ear or tell them to f--k off.....rude???? That's like the pot calling the kettle black...or something like that.

MAY THEY REST IN PEACE: Estimates are 3200 Iraqi's killed (and being killed) during the war...estimates, because lots of the dead were just "buried" with no official notice. How about the maimed? The unofficial (official) total of DADDY'S war was 2200 (give or take)...one could assume that the BUSHS enjoy killing Iraqis!! ..."oils well that ends well".........................

AND THE SENATE: Calling for an investigation of the CIA's data and process on the "weapons of mass destruction" bullshit that "urged" GEORGE to be a war monger.......maybe with GEORGE it's "the thought that counts".....but if you can't think?? OH MY, WHAT A COVOLUTED ISSUE IRAQ IS!!
...."oils well that ends well"......

**********************************GEORGE NO MORE IN 2004!!***************

...................L A T E R.....................

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

BRAIN FART TIME........................................LOOK FORWARD TO THIS...............WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BRAIN FART NEEDS BEFORE 'THE BLOG'....A CONSTIPATED BRAIN??

'TIS A BRIGHT SHINY DAY HERE IN COLORADO...LOTS OF POLLIN CRAP IN THE AIR......SNEEZING DAILY, IN DOUBLE DIGITS......................"HAY FEVER"....AN OLD PEGGY LEE
SONG???

WORD PUZZLE: massdestructionmassproductionmassconstructionmassseductionmassreductionmassobjectionsmasturbationmassbullshitbushcorruptionbushbeansmassdisception FIND THE "RIGHT" MASS...........................................

GEORGE: States flatly that Iraq had a weapons of mass destruction program...................."flatly"....we should deflate George in 04!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARIEL SHARON: Myself, being an aged person (aka "oldcatman"), remember when (25 plus years ago) ARIEL was at the top of the list as the ANTICHRIST...when did that change?....or did it. How does a raging, blood thirsty HAWK turn into a peaceful, loving DOVE? ....not even in HIS dreams!
Ariel's PO BOX is 666........................

HI, MARTHA!! The FBI took her MUG SHOTS..............K-Mart
announces a new line of coffee mugs with....DO I HAVE TO SAY IT????.......... and while being FINGER PRINTED she had a role of BRAWNY TOWELS in her purse. POOR POOR
POOR MARTHA..............The lady (??) has more money that my entire town earns in a year (maybe even a life time)!

AMEN.................IF YOU ARE THERE, HARASS ME AT
oldcatman@worldnet.att.net thats IF YOU ARE THERE.

Read and pass on the website: oldcatman.blogspot.com

or print out and use as toilet paper...............bottom of the bird cage....................wrap your dead fish..............or roll it up and stick it in your ear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AMEN.................REALLY.....................

Monday, June 09, 2003

...............blog has reblogged itself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANOTHER WEEK.....ANOTHER BRAIN CELL DIES; I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT BRAIN CELLS DIE AT THE SAME RATE AS "BODY" CELLS BECAUSE IT WOULD SURE BE A PAIN IN THE ASS IF ONE DIED TOTALLY BEFORE THE OTHER.....EITHER A BRAIN STUCK IN A WHEELCHAIR (OR WORSE) OR NO BRAIN STAGGERING AROUND IN A FOG.......AW...........OLD AGE...WHAT A TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NU.....................

MARTHA: K-MART HAS DISCONTINUED ALL SILK/SATIN TYPE BEDDING STUFF................IF MARTHA CAN'T HAVE THEM THEN K-MART WILL NOT SELL THEM..........................JUST PLAIN WHITE COTTON BEDDING ONLY..............maybe, some jail house stripes in the future.

THE TRAILER IN IRAQ: The trailer is gone......it was repossessed by
Abdulla's Trailer Mart, the #1 trailer dealer in Syria................this has really pissed GEORGE off as he wanted the trailer for the ranch...his poppa needs a place to live.

ISRAELI/PALISTINIAN NEWS: "THE ROAD TO PEACE"..............WON'T WORK.....CROSBY IS DEAD AND "HOPE"
DOESN'T WORK...........................................ISN'T RELIGION JUST MARVELOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GEORGE, WHY IS IT OK FOR US (AS IN USA) TO HAVE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION AND NOBODY ELSE (OF OUR CHOICE)??
Then again, George, ARE THEIR WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION?? OR AS BECHTEL LOOKS AT IT, WEAPONS OF MASS CONTRUCTION!!! I WONDER IF THE BECHEL FOLKS VOTE REPULICAN?? Can George be that could in bed?

Well, I have sacrificed another bunch of brain cells on brain farting for the day......pass it................visit me at "oldcatman@worldnet.att.net"

......................I'LL BE BACK (IMAGE ARNOLD'S VOICE)........